It has been a pretty crazy month for me, from arriving back from Europe and trying to get settled into my new hotel digs.

INCOME: $15,300

• All gross, not net and I still have to pay taxes on it (about 20%) so it’s really $12,240
• Then you have to factor in how much I am paying for business expenses as well

Update: This is for 3 weeks of work, I was on vacation for one.

EXPENSES: $4878.58 *cries*

• Business: $3940.60

• Personal: $937.98

Update: I should redo these numbers but I won’t.

I actually double-counted my rent and my hotel, and my very basic expenses (hotel, food, parking, gas, food) should really be around $2000 a month, but I am pre-paying for September as well as paying for August, which doubles my expenses.

BUSINESS EXPENSES: $3940.60

• Hotel is for all of August up until almost the end of September (YES!!)
• Had to switch hotels halfway through the month, that helped me save a lot of money in the end
• Have to think of the big picture: it’s cheaper than paying for a 12-month lease for something similar

PERSONAL EXPENSES: $937.98

• I have to calculate part of my “personal” living as my rent for my taxes
• Spent a little on self grooming this month
• Very difficult to calculate groceries in this case, as it’s included in my business expenses

NET WORTH: $112,230.05

15% increase or by $11,267.91

• Cash: $30.35
• Savings: $5076.96
• Emergency Fund: $25,649.15
• Retirement: $36,041.72
• Business: $45,431.87
• Emergency Fund: $25,649

Note: Still have taxes left to pay, so my net worth will drop next month.

Came across this interesting visual on the web, as part of the article: The Fading Glory of the Television and Telephone.

Via but props go out to Musings of an Adbstract Aucklander for leading me to Living Well on Less.

Go to my blog and take the survey at the top!

I think a lot of people get necessity and luxury confused.

Necessity, if you want to be really technical about it, is: basic shelter, clothing, food & water and warmth.

Everything else, is a necessity, even if we don’t think it is.

That being said, here are my answers:

• Green & Bold = Necessity
• Red = Unnecessary
• Blue = On the Fence

Here we go!

• Home Computer = I suppose I could do without, but I rather enjoy having my own laptop
  
• Microwave = I could use the oven instead, but that’s just an inefficient use of energy
• High-Speed Internet = Goes with the computer. Alternative would be to go to the library
  
• Car = Only for now, because I can’t get to the client site otherwise, unless I pay a cab to & fro
• Cellphone = Could always move to Skype/Google Voice and stick to email instead
  
• Landline Phone = I have a cellphone instead
• Clothes Dryer = Definitely unnecessary for me. I wash everything & then let it dry on its own
• Air Conditioning = Uncomfortable, but unnecessary for me. I don’t live in Florida
• Dishwasher = Not necessary, but BF would like one if possible, as he hates doing dishes
• Cable/Satellite TV = Again, too many channels and choices, not enough content I want to watch
• TV Set = Have a hotel TV now & I have to THINK to turn it on, and then I get frustrated trying to find a show
• Flatscreen TV = Same as above, I have it in the hotel, I just don’t use it

Well that wasn’t so bad.

I only consider my computer, high-speed internet and microwave as “necessities”, but even I am sure that I could do without them, by going to internet cafes or using the library.

I could even get rid of the car if I could find clients that had bus stops and subway stops near them!

I know I could always bike to work instead, but it’s quite a trek, and I am not comfortable with in-city biking, because I’ve seen the way cars treat bikes on the road.

If they had dedicated bike lanes, I’d bike for 50% of the year, and take public transport during wintertime (which can typically be 6 months, here).

What do you think? Could you do without?

Go to my blog and take the survey at the top!

A woman called into the radio the other day, and made me think about her situation for pretty much the rest of the day because of all the different perspectives this could be viewed from.

Basically, she said she was laid off in March, and even though she had 9 years of experience in a particular industry she had been searching since March and still hadn’t found a job.

It got to the point where she started to give up on the search, and felt like staying at home with her 3-year old son was a lot better use of her time.

She also mentioned that her husband was getting impatient (frustrated?) with her, and she just didn’t feel like looking for a job any longer.

She also asked if it would hurt her career-wise to take off 2-3 years to be with her son, and then try to re-enter the workforce.

FROM HER PERSPECTIVE:

9 years of solid experience and no one is hiring her? Wow, that is a serious blow to your career and not to mention your ego.

I really feel bad for her, because it seems like no one values her experience. I can see where you can get despondent and just give up on searching for a job.

Her husband getting mad at her is not helping, because it’s only been 5 months, and we are just starting to turn the economy around.

When you can’t find something — you simply cannot work. Heck, I went through a good chunk of 2009 without any income at all. I know how it is.

FROM THE HUSBAND’S PERSPECTIVE:

I’d be pretty angry and scared. I mean, I understand that since March, there’s been nothing for her. Zip, zilch, nada… but now everything is dependent on his income alone.

He now has to shoulder the burden and stress of being the sole-income provider, they probably have a mortgage, a car to pay and some consumer debt to cover, and she’s basically giving up after only 5 months?

If I were the husband, I’d encourage her to look into other industries, but I’d probably be pretty annoyed if she tried to say she didn’t want to do anything else, and she was just giving up.

Sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to do, just to get some money on the table and pay the bills.

To put it in another way, if it was the husband and not the wife who hadn’t found anything since March, and the wife was working full-time, would you feel differently about the situation?

I think we might be inclined to call him a lazy bum. I know it isn’t fair, but I think that’s what would first pop into people’s minds.

I really feel that her husband is reacting out of fear, basically worried that HE might be laid off next, and/or they just aren’t making by on what’s he’s earning, and they really need her income as well.

FROM A CAREER PERSPECTIVE:

Perhaps this is a positive thing, and if she can find a job in another industry, maybe the experience will be more enriching than trying to stay in an industry that doesn’t seem to be hiring.

I’d give a new career a shot, and if that didn’t pan out, try something else.

Being flexible and open to change, while not trying to let rejection get you down is kind of a must-have in today’s new world order.

I also think that if she took 3-5 years off to watch her 3-year old son, (I don’t think they’re planning on any more kids), it is definitely going to hurt her career-wise.

One year, maybe two.. fine.

But 3-5? It’s really too big of a gap for employers to wrap their heads around, and everyone who has been working for those 3-5 years will get the jobs first, and she might have to even start at the bottom again, which is really painful.

IN SUMMARY

My suggestion would be to look in another industry and perhaps take on a part-time job in the interim to help take the financial stress off of her husband.

I understand there are exceptions, but it doesn’t seem like this is one of those situations.

I am really the type of person who feels everyone should carry their own financial weight if they can, and I’m pretty sure I’d go crazy staying home with my kids without working or having any other outside adult interaction.

That being said, she has to broach this subject with her husband, and make sure that they are both in sync, they both agree to and understand the plan, and that no one feels resentful.

I really think that this is the type of situation that starts the seed of divorce proceedings, and if they don’t work out a plan together and compromise, they are going to be in deep trouble.

I am all for either parent wanting to stay at home and raise their child, in fact, I think it’s a great idea because of the personal touch that comes from doing that…. but if there are other options that may not be as rosy, but are better for the family from a financial standpoint, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do it.

I know we are missing a lot of facts, and we haven’t heard all the sides of the story firsthand, but this is an interesting real-life situation.

What do you think?

Do you see another solution that might be a better compromise?

Whenever I talk to my mom about my job (in the simplest terms possible), she inevitably sighs and says: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m glad you’re happy. I could never do and understand what you do on a daily basis.

It made me realize that I really do love my job.

Sometimes the work is frustrating, the clients are difficult or the pressure is heavy at certain points… but the only stress I’ve ever really experienced on the job, was when I worked for someone else.

Working for myself really opened up a world of possibilities. I now don’t have to answer to a stressed out manager who is under pressure from his boss, and even though I have to learn all the functions and roles that go into running a business (such as taxes), I couldn’t be happier.

However, I realize that my job description as well as the fact that I am a freelancer, is not everyone’s cup of tea.

So how do you figure out what you want to do?

I (luckily), fell into it by chance, but I did spend a good part of my formative years starting in high school, trying to figure out what I wanted to do as a career.

Top 5 Ways To Finding your Dream Job

1. Find out all the BAD things about the job

You already know the good — you’ve seen the rosy descriptions!

But are there long hours? What is the work like? What are the lowest points of the job? Is it risky or dangerous?

If you think you can stomach & deal with all the downsides to the job, then you are mentally prepped for what is about to come your way.

I have a doctor friend who was mentally prepared for the long, strange shift hours of working at a hospital ever since he decided he wanted to become a doctor in high school. He was told about the super long hours, the change from night shifts to day with a blink of an eye, and watched a bit of Grey’s Anatomy to get a feel for the hours he’d be putting in.

As a result, he pre-adjusted his thinking to accept these kinds of “down” moments on the job, and felt like the good parts outweighed the bad.

I have another doctor friend who didn’t mentally prepare herself, and after getting the degree and going into her internship, she calls me on occasion to vent her frustration, and constantly repeat her love for wanting to travel the world instead, and just be anywhere but at her job.

The best way to figure out the bad points are to ask someone who is already in the profession over a cup of coffee and/or ask to shadow them.

Keep in mind that they may love their jobs, and over coffee, may gloss over the bad parts because they can handle it — you, however, may not feel the same way, so I highly recommend shadowing them.

2. Don’t do it for the money

People get lured into jobs (such as law or medicine) because of the high salaries and possible early retirement.

What they fail to discover until it’s too late, is that money really isn’t everything.

I’ve heard from friends that law is pretty boring, nothing at all like Law & Order or Damages, as seen on TV.

It’s a lot of paperwork, it’s analytical, long hours and not what people expected it to be.

You may just end up getting mad at everything and hanging it all up to be a mentally-balanced, fulfilled barista at Starbucks.

3. Don’t be afraid to change

Even if you’ve already committed and you are 5 years into your career: don’t be afraid of changing or exploring other careers mid-career.

You do NOT want to be entering your golden years of retirement, only to say: I feel like I’ve wasted my life and my career, I should have gone into _____________ instead.

It is never too late. My mom is the best example of this, being a career changer when she was in her 40s. She went back to school, got her honours degree and is now doing what she loves.

40 years (50 weeks in a year) x 40 hours a week = 80,000 hours

Do you really want to spend 80,000 hours doing something you hate?

To put it into another perspective, if you assume 16 waking hours in a day, and you work for 8 of them, do you really want to spend

16 waking hours x 7 days = 112 hours in a week
8 working hours x 5 days = 40 hours in a week
40 working hours / 112 available hours = 36% of your week

Do you want to spend a third of your week in a job that makes you unhappy?

That’s not even including overtime.

4. Check out Best & Worst Job Lists

If you are stuck as to where to begin, get a clue.

Just to get an idea of what jobs are available, look at what people consider to be bad and good jobs.

Jobs Rated 2010: A ranking of 200 jobs from Best to Worst, and their list of 10 best jobs of 2010.

Maybe reading a job description will hit your brain like a thunderbolt and make you think: That’s what I want to do!

Knowing what you don’t want, is half the battle.

5. Don’t rule out “blue collar” jobs

Jobs that deal with very mundane things like plumbing, selling car parts, or anything that isn’t sitting in a cubicle pushing keys, can be goldmines.

If you love working with cars as a hobby, consider building on that. Keep your eyes open and see where you could make money or profit off it.

It may not be sexy, but it could make you happy and earn you a good bit of money to boot.

BF knew a guy who was supposedly mentally retarded. The guy loved to work with cars, and ended up opening his own mechanic shop after he saved his cash from being a mechanic for a while.

Years later when they met up, the guy nonchalantly said he was doing okay, and owned a couple of garages now.

At the age of 35, he “retired”, and hired mechanics to work in his shops for him, and working on occasion. He now does whatever he wants.

So if you want to work outdoors, look at being a lumberjack, ranger… whatever floats your boat!

Any other tips from readers who love their jobs? I’d love to hear them!

I read the “The History of Marriage” on the weekend, and started thinking about what she said about how marriage started.

Essentially, the history behind marriage is that it was not created for love — it was created for political reasons, religion, family fortune, etc.

Kids who got married were just pawns in a game.

Marriage was meant to ally families with one another, against others.

Now, we have this notion that marriage is the result of love, when that wasn’t the case in the past.

It’s why women get confused and think that pre-nups are unromantic, or a sign that they’ll get divorced, but they should see it as protection for themselves.

I am not advocating to get a pre-nup or to not. I’m just simply stating that if money is already a problem, and you don’t see eye-to-eye with your beloved, and he wants a pre-nup but you don’t.. then you need to sit down and talk out this money issue.

Money is the #1 reason couples divorce. Period.

If you don’t talk out this budding issue of how differently you two view money before you even get married for real, it will eat you alive.

He may be a saver. You, a spender. Or vice versa.

He may think a house is important, you, you want to travel or live in a condo so you don’t need to maintain a backyard or to be able to stay in the city.

Money is not the real and only reason why people fight and get divorced. It is just the rawest discussion or catalyst to start fights that don’t even relate to money, if that makes sense.

Fights can quickly escalate to: “And THAT is why you don’t put your socks away!!!”

Huh?

Yeah.

Money is just the match thrown onto bunch of dry wood doused in fire starter (your marriage).

Either you burn long and slow, until the end of your lives and last until the end of the BBQ, and everyone ends up happy, fed, fulfilled and content because they shared, they talked and they knew what the stakes (ohh! PUN!) were before they committed.

….Or you burn out fast within the first big flame of passion where you two are running around as naked newlyweds for the first 2 months, but after the big flame dies down, the lust is gone, the luster of being newly married has faded, the lack of commitment or the same values about life will quickly dissipate into a bunch of burned out charcoal with nothing left to show for it in the end, but a half cooked piece of chicken.

(Wow, why is everything I talk about strangely related back to food in awkward ways? I have BBQ on my mind.)

So a prenup? It’s just the beginning, if he or she asks for one.

If you feel uncomfortable signing it, then talk about it. But understand that people are skittish about marriage because they may have worked hard as a Saver all of their lives building a little nest egg.

And even if you think you will NEVER leave them, you can never say never.
Anything can happen.

If that Saver loses what she or he has built up for so many years, just because of a difference in personalities that was not immediately revealed until life and money issues came into play after the lust wore off… it becomes a nasty business, divorce.

Yes, I do agree that money should be spent and saved for the good of the family (being the two of you and future kids, if any), but sometimes a little reassuring paper can go a long way.

After all, love and romance are not what REALLY keeps a marriage going.

It’s what brings you two together and makes the partnership so wonderful and rosy… but cracks will appear in the foundation when real life issues hit you hard, like one of you gets cancer, or loses a job, or gambles away the house, loses a child or have to deal with a child that has special needs…

All of those situations have things to deal with money in some way or another, and that is why everyone says money is the #1 reason for divorce.