A woman called into the radio the other day, and made me think about her situation for pretty much the rest of the day because of all the different perspectives this could be viewed from.

Basically, she said she was laid off in March, and even though she had 9 years of experience in a particular industry she had been searching since March and still hadn’t found a job.

It got to the point where she started to give up on the search, and felt like staying at home with her 3-year old son was a lot better use of her time.

She also mentioned that her husband was getting impatient (frustrated?) with her, and she just didn’t feel like looking for a job any longer.

She also asked if it would hurt her career-wise to take off 2-3 years to be with her son, and then try to re-enter the workforce.

FROM HER PERSPECTIVE:

9 years of solid experience and no one is hiring her? Wow, that is a serious blow to your career and not to mention your ego.

I really feel bad for her, because it seems like no one values her experience. I can see where you can get despondent and just give up on searching for a job.

Her husband getting mad at her is not helping, because it’s only been 5 months, and we are just starting to turn the economy around.

When you can’t find something — you simply cannot work. Heck, I went through a good chunk of 2009 without any income at all. I know how it is.

FROM THE HUSBAND’S PERSPECTIVE:

I’d be pretty angry and scared. I mean, I understand that since March, there’s been nothing for her. Zip, zilch, nada… but now everything is dependent on his income alone.

He now has to shoulder the burden and stress of being the sole-income provider, they probably have a mortgage, a car to pay and some consumer debt to cover, and she’s basically giving up after only 5 months?

If I were the husband, I’d encourage her to look into other industries, but I’d probably be pretty annoyed if she tried to say she didn’t want to do anything else, and she was just giving up.

Sometimes we have to do what we don’t want to do, just to get some money on the table and pay the bills.

To put it in another way, if it was the husband and not the wife who hadn’t found anything since March, and the wife was working full-time, would you feel differently about the situation?

I think we might be inclined to call him a lazy bum. I know it isn’t fair, but I think that’s what would first pop into people’s minds.

I really feel that her husband is reacting out of fear, basically worried that HE might be laid off next, and/or they just aren’t making by on what’s he’s earning, and they really need her income as well.

FROM A CAREER PERSPECTIVE:

Perhaps this is a positive thing, and if she can find a job in another industry, maybe the experience will be more enriching than trying to stay in an industry that doesn’t seem to be hiring.

I’d give a new career a shot, and if that didn’t pan out, try something else.

Being flexible and open to change, while not trying to let rejection get you down is kind of a must-have in today’s new world order.

I also think that if she took 3-5 years off to watch her 3-year old son, (I don’t think they’re planning on any more kids), it is definitely going to hurt her career-wise.

One year, maybe two.. fine.

But 3-5? It’s really too big of a gap for employers to wrap their heads around, and everyone who has been working for those 3-5 years will get the jobs first, and she might have to even start at the bottom again, which is really painful.

IN SUMMARY

My suggestion would be to look in another industry and perhaps take on a part-time job in the interim to help take the financial stress off of her husband.

I understand there are exceptions, but it doesn’t seem like this is one of those situations.

I am really the type of person who feels everyone should carry their own financial weight if they can, and I’m pretty sure I’d go crazy staying home with my kids without working or having any other outside adult interaction.

That being said, she has to broach this subject with her husband, and make sure that they are both in sync, they both agree to and understand the plan, and that no one feels resentful.

I really think that this is the type of situation that starts the seed of divorce proceedings, and if they don’t work out a plan together and compromise, they are going to be in deep trouble.

I am all for either parent wanting to stay at home and raise their child, in fact, I think it’s a great idea because of the personal touch that comes from doing that…. but if there are other options that may not be as rosy, but are better for the family from a financial standpoint, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do it.

I know we are missing a lot of facts, and we haven’t heard all the sides of the story firsthand, but this is an interesting real-life situation.

What do you think?

Do you see another solution that might be a better compromise?

Jeff from Bluenoser’s Soap Box said:

Money money money, I know so many people who are pissed all the time but say that they couldn’t change because the money is so good. When I have moved in the past, the money was one of the lower factors, however I didn’t move up in pay scale each time.

If you are going to hate the job, people or place, no amount of money is going to make that better in your everyday life.

My response:

Then I’d challenge them to cut back on expenses.

If money is such a big deal, then perhaps you’re spending too much and you’d be much happier with that $5000 pay cut, doing something you love.

Of course, there are limits to what I am proposing, but life is really too short to be stuck doing what you hate.

Mia said:

1. Be realistic about the “grunt” work you’ll have to do to *get* to your dream position. You’re going to have to put in your time as an Editorial Assistant and do a lot of fact-checking, running errands, etc. before becoming an Editor, and you’re going to have to be willing to do these seemingly mundane, tedious tasks with a good attitude if you want to get to an Editor position.

2. Though every industry has its good and bad companies, certain industries are going to lead to certain corporate cultures. Hate being around Alpha Males? Sure, there are exceptions, but in general, even if you like the actual work, you’re going to have a hard time finding a corporate culture that makes you happy in investment banking.

3. I hate to be a downer, and this seems against the whole idea of chasing your dream, but…Be *Somewhat* Realistic. Take risks and chase dreams, but don’t be shocked if you just can’t be a professional basketball player.

I’d like to also add:

Be Flexible.

If you are set on being a movie producer but just can’t make it, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Just saying that you should know when to swallow your pride, give up your dream and take a job that will pay the bills and make you an independent adult.

You can always try for something else, another dream.

If you want to read the rest of these comments, please go back to yesterday’s post, located here.: “Finding the job that you love“.

Whenever I talk to my mom about my job (in the simplest terms possible), she inevitably sighs and says: I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m glad you’re happy. I could never do and understand what you do on a daily basis.

It made me realize that I really do love my job.

Sometimes the work is frustrating, the clients are difficult or the pressure is heavy at certain points… but the only stress I’ve ever really experienced on the job, was when I worked for someone else.

Working for myself really opened up a world of possibilities. I now don’t have to answer to a stressed out manager who is under pressure from his boss, and even though I have to learn all the functions and roles that go into running a business (such as taxes), I couldn’t be happier.

However, I realize that my job description as well as the fact that I am a freelancer, is not everyone’s cup of tea.

So how do you figure out what you want to do?

I (luckily), fell into it by chance, but I did spend a good part of my formative years starting in high school, trying to figure out what I wanted to do as a career.

Top 5 Ways To Finding your Dream Job

1. Find out all the BAD things about the job

You already know the good — you’ve seen the rosy descriptions!

But are there long hours? What is the work like? What are the lowest points of the job? Is it risky or dangerous?

If you think you can stomach & deal with all the downsides to the job, then you are mentally prepped for what is about to come your way.

I have a doctor friend who was mentally prepared for the long, strange shift hours of working at a hospital ever since he decided he wanted to become a doctor in high school. He was told about the super long hours, the change from night shifts to day with a blink of an eye, and watched a bit of Grey’s Anatomy to get a feel for the hours he’d be putting in.

As a result, he pre-adjusted his thinking to accept these kinds of “down” moments on the job, and felt like the good parts outweighed the bad.

I have another doctor friend who didn’t mentally prepare herself, and after getting the degree and going into her internship, she calls me on occasion to vent her frustration, and constantly repeat her love for wanting to travel the world instead, and just be anywhere but at her job.

The best way to figure out the bad points are to ask someone who is already in the profession over a cup of coffee and/or ask to shadow them.

Keep in mind that they may love their jobs, and over coffee, may gloss over the bad parts because they can handle it — you, however, may not feel the same way, so I highly recommend shadowing them.

2. Don’t do it for the money

People get lured into jobs (such as law or medicine) because of the high salaries and possible early retirement.

What they fail to discover until it’s too late, is that money really isn’t everything.

I’ve heard from friends that law is pretty boring, nothing at all like Law & Order or Damages, as seen on TV.

It’s a lot of paperwork, it’s analytical, long hours and not what people expected it to be.

You may just end up getting mad at everything and hanging it all up to be a mentally-balanced, fulfilled barista at Starbucks.

3. Don’t be afraid to change

Even if you’ve already committed and you are 5 years into your career: don’t be afraid of changing or exploring other careers mid-career.

You do NOT want to be entering your golden years of retirement, only to say: I feel like I’ve wasted my life and my career, I should have gone into _____________ instead.

It is never too late. My mom is the best example of this, being a career changer when she was in her 40s. She went back to school, got her honours degree and is now doing what she loves.

40 years (50 weeks in a year) x 40 hours a week = 80,000 hours

Do you really want to spend 80,000 hours doing something you hate?

To put it into another perspective, if you assume 16 waking hours in a day, and you work for 8 of them, do you really want to spend

16 waking hours x 7 days = 112 hours in a week
8 working hours x 5 days = 40 hours in a week
40 working hours / 112 available hours = 36% of your week

Do you want to spend a third of your week in a job that makes you unhappy?

That’s not even including overtime.

4. Check out Best & Worst Job Lists

If you are stuck as to where to begin, get a clue.

Just to get an idea of what jobs are available, look at what people consider to be bad and good jobs.

Jobs Rated 2010: A ranking of 200 jobs from Best to Worst, and their list of 10 best jobs of 2010.

Maybe reading a job description will hit your brain like a thunderbolt and make you think: That’s what I want to do!

Knowing what you don’t want, is half the battle.

5. Don’t rule out “blue collar” jobs

Jobs that deal with very mundane things like plumbing, selling car parts, or anything that isn’t sitting in a cubicle pushing keys, can be goldmines.

If you love working with cars as a hobby, consider building on that. Keep your eyes open and see where you could make money or profit off it.

It may not be sexy, but it could make you happy and earn you a good bit of money to boot.

BF knew a guy who was supposedly mentally retarded. The guy loved to work with cars, and ended up opening his own mechanic shop after he saved his cash from being a mechanic for a while.

Years later when they met up, the guy nonchalantly said he was doing okay, and owned a couple of garages now.

At the age of 35, he “retired”, and hired mechanics to work in his shops for him, and working on occasion. He now does whatever he wants.

So if you want to work outdoors, look at being a lumberjack, ranger… whatever floats your boat!

Any other tips from readers who love their jobs? I’d love to hear them!

I once was on a project where we had an hour and a half meeting EVERY SINGLE DAY to update everyone on how the rest of the team was doing.

Nice thought, but pretty f*cking stupid, because I’d get out of there and my brain cells would be wasted, half falling asleep in a meeting, and dull for the rest of the day.

A good part of the productive morning (for me), totally wasted.

A meeting every day?

Seriously?

I kept wanting to skip the meeting to see if they’d miss me, but I was heading a division so… I couldn’t exactly nip off for a nap.

My new proposal

Why do we have meetings?

This may sound impossible, but if you have a meeting it’s for 2 things:

• To make a decision
• To inform people

In both cases, you want or are asking for feedback, which will lead to action on somebody’s part, either to adjust what you’ve just presented, or the parties involved will carry out the actions from the meeting.

If you aren’t doing either, then what’s the point?

If you just want to inform people that things are going fine in marketing, then send an email and if they’re interested, they’ll read it and it’s the same in meetings, so why are you wasting time gathering everyone together physically?

Meeting does not mean Managing

For managers out there, meetings are not managing. “Meeting” is the key word here, not “Managing”. By gathering people together for an hour every morning to chat, it is NOT managing. It is MEETING.

It is not your job to babysit them to MAKE SURE that they are aware of the situation.

It is THEIR job to process that information and to keep alert at all times so that they can execute their daily tasks correctly.

If they don’t read their emails, they’ll learn soon enough that you don’t call for meetings just for the hell of it. That when you call a meeting, you mean it and they’ll show up. And if you email them (don’t email them every hour), it’s an important email.

*Any exceptions to 15 minutes or less?

Of course. If you are gathering for a decision that involves a number of parties, you clearly cannot solve something in 15 minutes. What you can do, is increase that to half an hour, to an hour, depending on the complexity of the problem.

Each party must be informed ahead of time when and what the meeting is about, and come prepared. If they are not prepared, you cut the meeting short and meet at a time when both parties can talk intelligently about what’s going on.

I believe half an hour to an hour (maybe) is enough for a major decision, because what happens in meetings most of the time (from my experience) is people say one point, and then it gets repeated like a broken record for the entire meeting. Everyone wants to chime in on the same point with different perspectives.

That is NOT productive. Get the point from one person, jot it down, move on. If someone else tries to bring it up again, say it’s already on the list. Move on.

Or, if you really want to work on the problem all day, make the teams sit in one room together and as they each work independently, they can call out questions or inform the other party right away instead of having to attend a meeting to give an update.

Who to invite?

Only invite the people who are going to do the actual work, or take action on what the decision is.

Don’t invite people who just want to know what’s going on. They’re useless to the meeting and will probably bog the process down. Inform them later of what the decision is, and get feedback if you wish.

Everyone must be on time

This doesn’t work if Lisa from Marketing wanders in 5 minutes late to a 15 minute meeting, holding a cup of Starbucks in her hand because she left to get REAL coffee.

Everyone, must be on time. And if they’re not, they miss the meeting and have to get the information second-hand.

If they feel slighted, it is not your problem. You set the time for the meeting and if it was that important, they’d have been there.

With that being said, don’t set meetings for 7 a.m. Be reasonable considering the traffic in your city and the normal working hours of a day.

Oh, and don’t be late, yourself.

Agenda & Follow-Up Email

It is also the person’s job (who is hosting the meeting) to set an agenda of what they are going to cover in 15 minutes, and to send a follow-up email of the actions he/she has noted down to let everyone know what they have to get done.

This is not a sign for people to NOT take notes during a meeting. If you don’t come with a notepad and pen, and you don’t jot down important information, don’t expect it to be in the email, other than the noted action items.

Don’t be late

Arrive half an hour before to set up the room, find the projector, bla bla bla.

In fact, I suggest 45 minutes. Murphy’s Law and all that.

Projector/NetMeeting WHATEVER may not work

Therefore, you need a backup.

Either, you have saved paper and emailed a copy to everyone attending, or you have printed out double-sided, 2 slides on each page copies for every 2 attendees so they can follow along.

Nothing is more irritating than not being able to follow along with some sort of visual cue.

Honestly, technology sometimes just doesn’t work, boot up in time, power on, or want to work properly.

Have a backup.

Set the time and mean it

An hour means an hour. No more, and certainly less if possible.

For me, presentations should run at 15 minutes to half an hour, maximum.

Don’t bore people with details

Depending on the complexity, you either need to break it up into many little presentations, or the presentation is just a general overview of the whole situation and therefore can be brief with relevant points.

If people want details, they’ll ask questions. Don’t bore them with minute details.

Each slide you present…

• should have a point
• should be in a large font to be able to be seen from the back of the room
• should not be cluttered
• …but not be boring with just black and white
• should have more images than words

If you put a lot of text on a slide, people will focus on reading the content instead of listening.

Don’t give them that distraction.

After the meeting

Send out a summary email or a copy of the presentation if you haven’t already, with 3 – 5 points or key actions highlighted.

Don’t get wordy.

And make sure that your email signature has your name, title, email address and telephone number in case people have questions, or at least tells them WHO they should talk to in case they have questions.

Oh, and know your stuff

Don’t read off the slide word for word. They know what’s on the slide.

I’m not saying you should memorize everything, and you can glance occasionally but if you know your content and the key points inside out, you will ace that presentation.

If you memorized 5 pages word for word, you are going to crash and burn because you’ll get thrown off if you forget something.

Use your slides as mental cues of what to talk about.

They want more details.. NOW

If they want to know more details and you don’t have the answer, tell them you’ll make a note of it (cue making a note), and you’ll email them with the proper answer after the meeting.

If you have to, fend them off with a vague answer and you’ll email them with the proper answer after the meeting or once y’all reach a decision.