Fabulously Broke in the City » Thoughts

Dating: Why is it so hard?

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 10:00:09 +0000

Warning: This is a personal post, and a mini rant on dating in general. This has nothing to do with finance.

Why is dating so tricky?

Is it because they really are tricky, or are we just over analyzing and making it trickier than it should be?

I was thinking about this the other day when I was on the phone with my sister (who is having a hell of a guy “problem” that I think is imagined), and I thanked my lucky stars I found BF and have to look no more.

I was always of the belief that the simplest way was the most honest and direct way for both guys AND girls.

For instance, if a guy says he likes me on Facebook, or friends tell me he likes me, or there’s a like-something chemistry going on but he never followed through with a formal date, time and place with just the two of us, I write him off.

Then predictably, I’d hear: Oh wait! Hey! I liked you. I thought we were going to have something.

Me: When? In this millennium? Or when humans become extinct?
Them: I was taking it slow, trying not to get rejected, didn’t want to push you, bla bla bla (whatever reason they want to make up for lack of direct action)
Me: Sorry. Too little, too late. (I say something along those lines, but not those words exactly.)

I really loathe ambiguity.

I am not talking about being tactful or trying to be respectful, I am talking about not being clear and using simple words strung together in a sentence that can be comprehended by others.

SISTER’S SITUATION

Basically, they’ve been beating around the bush for 2 months.

They’re both to blame, and they only Facebook or Facebook Chat each other.

He doesn’t call her, she doesn’t call him, they only hang out in group situations where he gets jealous if she talks to a guy and vice versa but they aren’t dating.

But nothing. ever. comes. of. it.

She gives him mixed signals when she tells him she’s down for “whatever” but doesn’t clearly state that she wants one-on-one time with him and not in a group. So the guy is probably wondering WTF is going on.

It’s frustrating to have been part of this conversation:

(Note: Yes I am very blunt with her, because she is the type that cannot deal with being coddled because it just encourages her neuroses.)

Sister: But I don’t want to put myself out there!
Me: So you want to stay single then, is that it?
Sister: No, but I want HIM to ask ME.
Me: What kind of stupid mind game is that? You don’t have to formally ask him out if you’re scared.

Just write: Hey, how’s it going, what are your plans for the weekend?
Sister: But I gave him my number and he knows I’m on Facebook, why isn’t he calling or asking me out?
Me: Because you’ve been giving him mixed signals by not affirmatively saying: Yes I’d like to date you one-on-one.

Ask him what he’s doing this weekend.
Sister: *HORRIFIED* NO! I can’t just write and ask him what he’s doing, that’s WAY too direct.
Me: Oh so you want him to mind read then?
Sister: Well NO, but maybe he just doesn’t like me.
Me: He told you that you were very attractive, he was interested in you, that he is TOTALLY INTO you two being together, and you’re telling me that’s not clear enough for you?
Sister: Are you sure? What if he is just saying that because he does it to all the girls? So why hasn’t he asked me out?
Me: Why are you making this so complicated for yourself?

He hasn’t done it because you are BOTH shy and you were giving him mixed signals on whether or not to go ahead and ask you out.
Sister: He just wants to “chill”. He also didn’t take a cab with me that night, what was up with that?
Me: …..a cab? Is that all you’ve got?
Sister: Well maybe it’s because I didn’t sleep with him yet
Me: … oh good. So now the reason is that you’re not the town slut.
Sister: That’s what _____ said. She said if I don’t keep them interested with sex, he’ll lose interest.
Me: …. I cannot believe we are having this exact conversation in this day and age.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

1. ISSUE: NOT BEING CLEAR AND DIRECT

I know guys might find this bizarre but girls actually like honesty, directness and tact. Hate the bush beating. HATE.
I usually wrote people like that off as: flaky, not committed, full of baggage, unsure of self and not ready to date.
I don’t want a wishy-washy person to date, I want to know that they can act like an adult and I don’t need to babysit or mother them when it comes to bigger issues if we stay together.

Hinting doesn’t work. “We SHOULD go out to that burrito place” is not the same was “Let’s go out to that burrito place tomorrow.”

2. ISSUE: NO FIRM DATE OR TIME

If you want to just “chill” with me “anytime” and “anywhere”, I call BS.

Ask me on a formal date, next Friday and let’s go to coffee or dinner or whatever, but don’t just leave it so ambiguous and say you want to “chill”. If I wanted to “chill”, I’d call a friend or do it by myself. If I am single, I don’t need another friend to chill with.

3. ISSUE: USING IMPROPER COMMUNICATION

Facebooking me, Facebook Chatting me, Messaging me (Blackberry, MSN, iPhone, or other sorts of BS) and any other bloody thing but talking to me in person, or emailing me with a “Hello, I think you’re nice and I’d like to take you out on a date. Are you free this weekend?” makes me roll my eyes.

Whatever happened to the simple channels of calling up a girl and saying: Hey this is Billy from ______. Are you free this weekend to go out on a date with me? Or talking to them in person?

Ambiguity, gone.

Instead, we’re trying to figure out if taking a cab with us rather than taking a cab with his friend, or the way he orders drinks for you, or WHATEVER ELSE we make up in our heads by over analyzing every action someone takes, rather than just being clear and direct.

4. ISSUE: NOTING EVERY LITTLE ACTION AS A SIGN

So he didn’t take a cab with you. Maybe he wanted to share with his friend.

Maybe he wasn’t sure if you wanted to cab with him.

Maybe he just doesn’t have the money but would rather owe his friend than you.

The point is that it’s just a cab ride, and it isn’t like he grabbed a cab with another girl and started making out with her.

Who cares?

It’s a cab ride. It isn’t a “sign” that he hates you.

So he handed you a used ticket from the club. It isn’t a sign that he’s in love with you either.

Stop reading into that crap.

Here are some direct questions you can ask:

Do you want to go out this weekend?
Are you free tonight for a date/to go out with me?
Do you want to go bowling with me?
How about a movie together?
Want to go grab a coffee together?
Do you want to go to dinner some time?

Just ask. It’s just words. It isn’t life or death.

Somebody explain this to dating wishy-washy-ness to me. I just don’t get it.

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

2 Useless Companies: Starbucks and Bell — I’m sick of them

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:00:16 +0000

The bloom is off the rose, folks.

I, a formerly avid Starbucks lover, am never going to patronize that store ever again.

I HATE STARBUCKS AND I WILL NEVER RETURN WHILE THEIR WIFI PROVIDER IS BELL HOTSPOT

Why?

All because of their association with one of the rudest companies I’ve ever had the displeasure of coming across.

For the past 3 weeks, I’ve been going into Starbucks periodically to buy drinks, enjoy the atmosphere and read a little bit on my iPad.

I had NEVER had a problem before with their Wifi service, provided by Bell Hotspot, and even though they originally made you jump through hoops with Starbucks Card registrations and so on, it always connected me and it always worked.

(Note: I am on an iPad, iPod Touch or Laptop like a Macbook Air, and those products ALWAYS connected to Starbucks Wifi before)

Not any more.

Today, for the 15th time I’ve been into a Starbucks location (various ones all over Toronto), I was given the error message of something along the lines of:

“ERROR

Sorry, we couldn’t process your request at this time.

Please close the browser window and try again.

You can also call 1-866-768-8005 for customer service.”

I was trying for HALF AN HOUR.

I finally decided to call Bell Hotspot to see if there was anything that could be done, because it was starting to get on my nerves that I’ve never been able to connect to any Starbucks wifi since I returned.

Here’s how it went:

Bell Customer Service: Hi how can I help you?

Me: I’ve been trying for the past half an hour to connect to your Wifi at Starbucks and it keeps giving me this Error message.

Bell: Oh, well has it happened to other customers?

Me: *thinking WTF?*… Umm I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care. I have been trying for the past half an hour, and it keeps giving me an error message. I haven’t POLLED the customers in the store, so I am going to assume they all have the same problem.

Bell: Well if you knew if other people were experiencing the problem then we could do something.

Me: ………. [This is "customer SERVICE"?]

Bell: Could you go talk to the Starbucks manager and ask them if anyone else has been reporting the same problem? You have to talk to the Starbucks manager and then ask them, and then have them tell me.

Me: Look, I told you that I’m the one without connectivity here, and this is not the first time this has happened. I’ve NEVER been able to connect to a Starbucks wifi lately, and it’s the first time I’m calling in. You probably don’t get a lot of calls for this because people give up, but I thought I’d call and give it a try.

Bell: OH NO. Trust me, we ALWAYS get calls of customers complaining [And this is a good thing?] but we haven’t received any calls in the past 3 weeks. It has to be your device.

Me: Probably because no one has called in. I’ve been having problems for 3 weeks but this is the first time, and frankly, it isn’t my device. I’ve been using this same device before January when it connected perfectly fine to your network, and it’s only been in the past 3 weeks since that it hasn’t worked

[They probably cut down the bandwidth to be super cheap at Starbucks locations to make more money, or because they're just trying to be CHEAP]

Bell: You need to go talk to the Starbucks manager and ask them if anyone has had problems.

Me: Why? I shouldn’t have to do that, it’s really your service you’re providing to them, not their service that I’m complaining about… [it's not even my job, it is YOURS, BELL.]… I’m the client of Starbucks, and their clients are your clients indirectly, so you should be helping me.

Bell: But I don’t know who you are!!!! I need you to go talk to a Starbucks manager and ask them! YOU should go ask the Starbucks manager!

Me: But really, what does it matter? [YOU ARE THE CONTACT NUMBER FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!!] I’m a client at Starbucks who cannot log in, and hasn’t been able to for the past 3 weeks to your wifi at different Starbucks locations all over Toronto.

Bell: You know what? Forget it. *hangs up*

1. ANY CLIENT OF YOUR CLIENT, BECOMES YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

Especially if your number is the contact number for problems with your service.

If they put YOUR customer service number on there to call rather than writing: “ERROR: Go see a Starbucks manager to resolve.“, then it means it is YOUR responsibility, Bell, to take care of the customers. Period.

YOUR. RESPONSIBILITY.

There is no ifs, ands or buts about it. Your service sucks, the end client of your major client is complaining, and you better damn well do something.

2. BLAMING A CUSTOMER IS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION

She didn’t even ASK ME what I was using to try and connect to their Wifi Network, she just said: Oh it must be the product you are using to connect.

Telling me that my iPad, iPod Touch AND Macbook Air are all the source of your lack of proper hosting for your client, is not a good thing to do.

And really? Apple products are ubiquitous in Starbucks cafes, and if they are having problems like I am, they may be too polite or lazy (as I was in 3 weeks) to call and complain each and every time.

3. SAYING YOU HAVEN’T RECEIVED X NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS IN A WEEK IS BULLS**T

I told her it happened every single time I went to any Starbucks location in the past 3 weeks, and having her parrot back to me: Oh but I haven’t received ANY complaints in the past 3 weeks from customers, is not a good way to serve customers.

For the record, the last one I was at was not even close to being near a busy area, with 3 customers on laptops, if that.

And to have her say that in EXACTLY 3 weeks it’s been all rosy at Bell, just because I said I had been trying to use it for EXACTLY 3 weeks and getting annoyed, is utter crap.

If I said: In the past 2 months, she probably would have denied receiving any complaints in the past 2 months.

4. HANGING UP ON A CUSTOMER EVEN IF YOU ARE ANNOYED

It is not my job as a client of Starbucks, to do YOUR job by talking to the manager.

I am calling on a phone, on MY time, on MY dime, and you should say: I will take care of it.

None of this “oh it’s your device“.. “oh I haven’t received ANY complaints in 3 weeks“…”oh, it’s you that should make sure that everyone is also not getting wifi too, or talk to the Starbucks manager“.

Does that sound like it should be my job to do that, as a paying end client of Starbucks?

No honey, YOU should ask the location of where I am at (she didn’t even do THAT), and then you should take it upon yourself to say: Let me call the store directly and talk to the manager and work this out. I apologize for the inconvenience.

YOU. NOT ME.

5. UNPROFESSIONAL: NOT APOLOGIZING AND BEING DEFENSIVE

In summary of the above, she didn’t ONCE apologize for the service being down.

She was defensive for everything.

…without even once asking me where I was located, how many times I experienced the problem in total, and taking it seriously.

She shined me on, HUNG UP ON ME and I’m angry and annoyed enough to not only blog about it, but to not go back to Starbucks until they get their #$*$(! act together

6. STARBUCKS IS NOT BLAMELESS

So why boycott Starbucks in general?

Frankly, if Starbucks is the kind of company that can hire such UTTER CRAP to be your Wifi Service Provider for your cafes, and you don’t even know how horrible they are to your clients who are paying for what is essentially overpriced (albeit delicious) drinks, then you don’t deserve a penny of my money.

In that pricey drink I was taking (usually lattes), I thought accessible wifi was part of the deal and I was willing to relax with a cup and browse the ‘net.

I was willing to pay, and I have been paying for years, as well as being quite a rabid fan. Not any more.

You also probably trusted that Bell would be nice to your clients right?

Well the woman I got, was not, and this is how angry I am.

If you want to make sure that Bell doesn’t f*#$ up your relationship with your clients, then SWITCH SERVICE PROVIDERS and vote with your money.

I vote with my money, and my money stays where it is — with me, and not with Starbucks.

Bell, you just don’t understand business and it shows in your so-called ‘customer service’ reps.

You don’t even know the meaning of customer service.

You’re only growing profits and revenues by screwing over your clients and trying to lower the quality of service, but charging the same amount.

It’s like this company can only make money or turn a profit if they screw clients, but they don’t even realize that their crappy customer service to their clients’ end clients is what is the problem.

I hope you die a slow and painful death, and I’ll do my best to help it along, seeing as we already refused your crappy service for TV, Internet and Telephone at least 3 times in the past week.

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

FB Spring Cleaning Closet Sale

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 06:00:00 +0000

New year, new clothes.. right?

Okay no really, I need to make more space for my wardrobe (this closet purging is getting harder and harder, I tell ya) because I don’t want my suitcases to look like they’re bulging. I want to leave about 25% of empty space so that it looks well packed, but not stuffed to its gills.

Enter my THIRD closet clean out.

NOTES:

I’d like to get everything sold ASAP
E-Mail me here for what you want to buy: Contact Me or if you have any questions!
First come, first serve, and if you don’t contact me or pay within 2 weeks, I will sell it to the second person who emailed me
I only accept PAYPAL payments
I can calculate your exact shipping costs using Canada Post online
I will package everything as cheap as possible unless I need to buy a box to ship multiple items in
I won’t charge any fake shipping or handling fees above and beyond the actual cost of the box & shipping

YAY!

SOLD Liamolly Knitted ‘Kingfisher’ Jacket — $50 — Size Small

This is brand new, never worn.

Would fit a Size US 4 or a small Size US 6.

I actually received it as a gift (and I already asked permission to re-sell it and made her swear never to buy me clothes again), but since I can’t in good faith put it at its full price, I am putting it at $50.

Liamolly is a brand that I know well, because they sell their line through Anthropologie, a store I love…some of the time.

The company is independent, and they’re trying to move their operations to the U.S. rather than relying on China. You can check out their whole story here.

The sweater blurb:

A group of small to medium sized brightly coloured birds in the order Coraciiformes. They have a cosmopolitan distribution, with most species being found in the Old World and Australia.

Fitted Tailored Jacket with Golden Feather Jacquard tubular trim and covered buttons

86% Wool
9% Rayon
5% Cotton

SOLD Bionic Tweed Suiting Wrap Dress — U.S. 6 or U.S. 4 — $50

Another Bionic wrap dress on the selling block!

It looks like this dress with the collar and the sleeves, but in the tweed suit fabric shown in the actual photos below.

Oh and no pockets. I don’t think there are pockets in this dress either, they just made it look like there are.

Here’s the actual grey tweed fabric you will receive. It isn’t too shiny at all, it has a slight sheen to it.

It has kind of military-like shoulders to it.

It will fit a U.S. Size 4 or a U.S. Size 6, and it would look better on someone with more of an hourglass, retro, shape. You need a bigger bust for this dress. I rarely wore it. Maybe.. once or twice.

I originally bought it because I —love—- the tweed suit fabric on there (I still do), but the bust area is just too big for me now.

As much as I love wearing it because the skirt flares out and gives a nice 50s feel with a beautiful suit-like tailored collar and sleeves, I lost weight and now I have to pull it too tight around my body.

I took it in to a tailor and they wanted to charge me $80 to have it cut to refit to my body. I am not feelin’ the pricetag (it’s the cost of another new dress or two!) so I’m selling it instead to someone with actual curves.

*sniffle*

H&M BLACK WRAP DRESS — U.S. 6 — $30

Never. Worn. ARG! Size 6. Fits a Size 4 (still fits me well).

I just don’t reach for the all-black wrap dress, but I kept it all this time thinking: Hey.. who doesn’t reach for an all black wrap dress? I can totally wear this.

Didn’t happen, so I’m letting it go.

I already have a black sheath that I wear to more formal functions and 30 other dresses in various styles (including wrap dresses) that I can wear in its stead.

It has a light collar on it (not stiff), in a 3/4 length sleeve. It’s a true wrap dress.

DYNAMITE DARK BROWN HALTER DRESS — U.S. 6 — $20

I bought this before I knew I was an inverted triangle type (I can’t wear halters, they make my shoulders look huge compared to my bottom half).

It fits a U.S. Size 4 or a 6. It’s actually pretty forgiving overall because you can sit down in it comfortably and eat well without worrying about it being too tight and hurting your belly.

I still think it looks fine on me, but as a girl with 30+ dresses, I can afford to let this one go because I haven’t touched it in about 3 years.

It also has a wrap around the waist, and lovely embroidery in the front which is what drew me to it.

MEXX BLACK AND GOLD PATTERNED SILK SKIRT — U.S. 6 — $30

100% silk, the lining is acetate in a size U.S. 6.

Again, same sob story. It is too big for me and it has no belt loops.

I tried it on the other day, as I was hemming and hawing about whether or not I wanted to really sell it (it’s so pretty), but when it slipped off my hips, I knew it had to go.

It has a slight tulip flare at the bottom, but the hip area is also flared out slightly. The silk hugs your hips without encasing it like a sausage if it fits you well.

LULULEMON RUN: SWIFTLY TECH SHIRT — U.S. 8 –$40 EACH SHIRT

$80 for both, I have 2 shirts 1 in Purple and 1 in Teal

NOTE: I snipped the tags out! They annoyed the heck out of my neck the first time I wore them, so I got rid of them.

If this bothers you.. well, don’t buy them You’ve been warned.

This exact colour of purple and another in teal:

I have two of these shirts to sell in the exact same type.

One teal, one purple. Original price was $58 each.

I bought them to wear while doing yoga, but frankly.. I never reach for them. I always end up doing yoga in my pajamas, which are my leggings and a tank top.

I wore them once each, but even for going out, I am not a sweatpants and sweatshirt kind of girl, and while I thought I wanted to keep a set of workout clothes, I never go to the gym so it’s all a wash.

I think they’d be better off with someone else who’d actually use them.

They are both U.S. size 8s.

Lululemon blurb:

why we made this

Our Swiftly Short Sleeve (SS) Tech is a direct result of design feedback that we’ve received during multiple sweat sessions with our ambassadors. What we heard: versatility rules, make a tee that is lightweight and breathable but durable, and take chafing seriously. Done.
key features

moisture wicking construction pulls sweat away from the body
doubles as a lightweight, knitted base layer in cool weather runs
tee’s core construction is seamless
where there are seams, they are flat and engineered to reduce chafing

tech specs

designed for: run
fabric(s): seamless Silverescent®
properties: anti-stink, body-mapped, chafe resistant, breathable, moisture wicking, quick drying
fit: body-skimming
length: mid-hip

PAUL HO COUTURE GREY JACKET WITH SIDE BUCKLE — U.S. 6 — $50

I paid about $150 for this jacket. It’s handmade by Paul Ho in Toronto, and it’s SWIMMING on me now.

You need to be a U.S. Size 6 or a Medium to wear this because as a Size 4, it’s pretty large.

I love the lapels, the belt buckle at the side is just darling and the whole thing looks sleek without being too formal or business-y.

The fabric is smooth without being shiny (more matte), and it is soft but structured with slight shoulder pads.

The sleeves are also great. Slit on the edges instead of buttons and it has a slight bell curve which looks incredible.

When I was a U.S. 6, I wore it with skits, over pants and dresses to work. Looked great, gave a polish of a suit without it being a suit.

MONSOON PINSTRIPED INKY BLUE TOP WITH FLOWERS — U.S. 8 — $30

It fits me as a U.S. 6, albeit loosely (trapeze-shape for the bottom), but it says a U.S. Size 8 because my shoulders are larger than a U.S. 6 in certain cuts, including this top.

Now, it’s just too big on me, that I’m a Size 4.

It’s swimming on me and if I don’t sell it, I am happy to keep it and wear it belted forever.. but someone should else should enjoy it if they can.

It is a soft material, and has a bit of a pleat at the top (see the first picture). It’s bold but still neutral and would look great over anything.

H&M TAILORED DENIM BLAZER — U.S. 6 — $40

Denim is like the hottest thing right now.

Too bad this is a U.S. 6 because it’s too large for me to be super trendy with it on.

The denim is soft, the blue is a medium, and it’s a great casual blazer to wear over anything and everything.

The pockets are real, too The sides are nipped in a bit for a waist so it doesn’t look so bulky and square either.

[SOLD] SMART SET WHITE PINSTRIPED SUIT — U.S. 6 — $60

A whole suit for $60.

You can buy the jacket or the pants separately for $30 each, but I’d like to sell them together as the fabric and colour match perfectly.

UNWORN!

UNWORN!!!!!!!! I’m so mad. I bought it as part of my ‘suit set’ (black, dark grey, another grey and this white), and I just never reached for it.

Now it’s too big for me and the time is lost.

It’s a U.S. Size 6 set (the jacket says Size 5 but the pants say Size 7, but I wore them together when I was a U.S. 6), and it is in pristine condition, as it has never BEEN WORN.

The material is slightly stiff (better for a suit), and smooth. It’s not so stiff you’ll feel uncomfortable. You’ll feel more professional in it than anything.

I like the idea of wearing the items are separates because you can wear that blazer over some dark jeans and some heels for a night out, or the white pants with a black top with long earrings…

Lots of possibilities.

SOLD DYNAMITE POLKADOT RUCHED TANK TOP — U.S. 6 — $10

I have a lot of polka dotted stuff, this is the last one to go. Fits a Size 6 or a 4.

It has ruching in the front (great for hiding bellies), and I should warn you that the back is a bit sexier, being a bit sheerer. The front is not sheer at all however.

Very comfortable to wear, great as a tank top, I got lots of compliments on it.

SOLD MOSHI CONCERTI IPAD PURPLE CASE — $25

Bought this for $50 I think. I used it for my iPad, but ultimately, I don’t need a case. I just throw it in my purse.

I think you can use it for the iPad 1 or 2.

I have the iPad 2 for your reference — it has the little hole in the back for the back camera for the iPad 2.

I bought it because of the colour, the fact that the strap goes around the front instead of a snap case, and you have options of different angles for the iPad itself for viewing.

It also has a sleeve in it as well.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter Theme Park coming to Universal Orlando in Spring 2010

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Beijing – Shopping and Life

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 05:00:12 +0000

More shots of Beijing Life and Shopping.

It’s really a new experience to be in the middle of such pollution and to see SO MANY BIKES everywhere.

(Actually I meant to write “smell a whiff of a cop”, not spot. Not going to change it now )

A morning in the life of FB

Beijing – Food Stalls and Food

Life before Google

Confessions of an Escort: A Look into the Life

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Beijing – Food Stalls and Food

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 05:00:06 +0000

Beijing and Asia in general is all about street food. Here are some of the things that Beijing-ers chow down on.

Beijing – Shopping and Life

How to score free food at McDonald’s … French-style ;)

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

What’s in a baby name?

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 09:00:21 +0000

There is an American-Australian couple (white, if you must be specific), who named one of their three kids, a boy: Yo Xing Heyno Augustus Eisner Alexander Weiser Knuckles. (Read article here)

Or for short, “Yo Xing”.

He is not adopted at all.

It sounded strange at first, that a non-Chinese child who was not born in China, nor have any roots in China at all (via an ethnic background), would have a very Chinese name.

There don’t seem to be any discernible ties to how he was named as such, other than their parents having a penchant for whimsy.

Then I thought: Wait, but is it so strange than if for example when Chinese parents name their children American names?

Or if any other culture — Italian, Mexican, Filipino, etc… who name their child with a non-cultural name?

There are tons of children out there who have names..

not related to their ethnic background
not related to where they were born (or when)

I am slightly fascinated by this because it’s as though…

English (William, Jane, James, Elizabeth)
French (Yvonne, Andre, Natalie, Jerome)
Jewish (Jacob, Shiloh, Noah, Abigail)

…names are “acceptable” as general names for English-speaking children, but more ethnic names for babies who aren’t born of that ethnic background sound strange to our ears.

Like Yo Xing. Or Fabio. Or Amit.

Anyway, there is no real point in this post.

I just had this thought cross my mind as I was reading the article.

This baby is so much smarter than I am…

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

No one is in competition with each other: it’s all in your head

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:00:31 +0000

I certainly don’t feel like I fit into a neat category.

(Maybe I do, and I just can’t see it objectively.)

See, I love clothes and shopping, but I am not in debt for it, nor have I paid a cent in credit card interest for it.

I enjoy budgeting & watching my expenses, but I don’t deny myself trips or fun things.

I am a minimalist, and extreme in some senses (very little furniture), but very un-minimalist in others: I have a lot of clothes, purses & jewellery… and gadgets ….*eyes glitter*..

So when I hear comments about how others think that bloggers or people in general are bragging about how little they have by showing off their “minimalist-ness”…

….or bragging about how much they’ve saved or earned…

….or how many pretty things they bought today….

.. it doesn’t make sense to me.

Sure, I live with about 6 pieces of furniture, but it wasn’t to show off.

I lived in a studio for one thing, but I was just simply showing my apartment (by reader request).

In my mind, I showed what I do live with but I never expect anyone to do the same.

I am happy and comfortable with what little I have in furniture, but that doesn’t mean that I am a minimalist in everything else too.

I couldn’t live with 50 or 100 things.

I never expected anyone to follow in the same path, but if they do or are inspired to, great!

But ultimately, it’s their life.

Just as it is my life.

It confuses me when people create a competition or fight of sorts in their heads.

So if you don’t like it, then make a choice to not like it, and stop torturing yourself with blogs, friends & people that/who don’t resonate with you.

Or at least, understand why you feel like it’s a competition.

To me, no one is in a competition for anything.

Not for money, not for minimalist-ness, not for how many pretty things we own.

It’s all in our heads, if it ever existed.

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Sometimes you just want a big piece of cake

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 09:00:58 +0000

You know how people say: Hey, I’m totally fine with eating only fruits as being my only form of sugar? I can eat an apple and have my sweet tooth satiated (Meg I am looking at you!)

Well that doesn’t seem to work on me, and it might by psychological, but I’m not so sure any longer.

I know fruit sugars and refined white or brown sugar are not the same things, but damn it, sometimes you want a disgusting, bad for you refined sugar treat.

At the start of my sugar-lowering life changing process, I was craving something sweet, so I decided: Hey I bought all of these damn apples on sales let’s eat one to stop the sugar craving.

I ate one. Then two. Then three.

And finally I was full after my fifth apple but my body was still craving sugar!

Clearly whatever I was doing, was not working. It wasn’t until I popped a Werther’s toffee in my mouth that I felt a sigh of relief. The sugar craving was gone.

So apples? Yeah.. not such a great substitute when what you want is a dark chocolate raspberry swirled fudge cake.

Where am I going with this? I’m basically saying it’s taking time and I am slowly cutting down on sugar, but it was definitely a struggle at the start.

I’m doing a lot better now, but it was a struggle to wean off that sugar!

If I were a piece of Ikea Furniture, what would I be?

Godiva Chocolates, Shawarma Cravings and Other Observations

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Own up to your actions and words

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:00:29 +0000

Take responsibility for your actions and words.

I know that if I go to a store, and if I am justified in being upset about something, I’m willing to argue to get properly compensated.

That being said, I know when I do that, that people will respond negatively.

How can they not?

I respond negatively all the time when people (seem to) attack me on the blog, and it’s hard not to take it personally.

These reps will feel attacked even though it isn’t personal and it was my being upset at the lack of enforcement of a certain policy at the store, or whatever.

Another example is when you are arguing with a loved one perhaps.

In the heat of the moment, you say something you regret — maybe blurting out something that was supposed to have been done and over with, or swearing at them.

At that point, you have to own up to what you said.

Sure, you said it when you were upset, but you said it.

This means you can make a choice to:

apologize immediately
apologize after wards
fix the situation in other ways
keep arguing your point

What you can’t do, is say: “I didn’t mean to say that, why are you upset and attacking me back? My intention was not to hurt you.”

The problem is that you can’t take back your actions or words, and if you aren’t willing to either back them up and defend yourself, or back down and fix the situation, then DON’T SAY IT.

The best example is the internet: anyone can say anything they damn well please under a guise of (relative) Anonymity.

The rule is: if you aren’t willing to speak those words out loud to someone in person, face-to-face because you actually feel like it would be rude or too personal, then don’t type it.

I feel like I still need to learn this!

What about you? What do you feel like you need to work on?

When your actions define who you are: Blogging and Personal Finance, how did I ever get here?

Women always have to be nice, don’t they?

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Flaws. Here are mine, what are some of yours?

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 09:00:29 +0000

I have them, you have them, and Amy from Rainy Saturday has ‘em.

(She inspired me for this post)

Credit

So my flaws? Here goes!

I’m tough on myself. Like really tough to where I randomly replay my foibles from Grade 2 in my head, even to this day
I leave junk everywhere around my ‘area’, like papers and bits of crap (I nest!)
I could eat Nutella out of the jar (which is why I don’t buy it)
I get a little lazy when I know I have something big to do (taxes, anyone?)
I always get anxious and panicky when I think I’ve offended someone and then I stress
I don’t call my mom as often as I should, I know
I try to remember to floss and brush after every meal but I forget
I like to snack, so I don’t keep snacks nearby or I’d obliterate them with my mouth
I can never refuse any proffer of food no matter how bad it might be for me
I feel horribly awkward at social functions with loud music and with the threat of dancing
I am defensive against any conversion (religion, politics, eating habits)
I sometimes judge people on spending, like feeding their pet $250 worth of treats when they’re starving
I am direct not rude, but I know that other people may perceive it differently
I have a low threshold for bad customer service
I will refuse to pick up stuff like contact lens solution just because I think I can make it last just a bit longer… until it really runs out and I’m screwed

I’m sure there are more, but this is all I can come up with right now.

#6 about calling my mom more often reminds me to share this cute passive aggressive note with you:

Kat is currently living abroad teaching English in Japan, and although she speaks to her parents every week, that’s apparently not cutting it with her Dad, who’d prefer more detailed letters.

Rather than communicate this directly to Kat, however, Daddy dearest decided to use the family’s new kitten, Faisal, as his mouthpiece. The result? The finest in super kawaii emotional manipulation!

Via Passive Aggressive Notes

Your turn!

Meet my brother, the comedian on improving the quality of his team

If you are reading this on any other blog than Fabulously Broke in the City or via my RSS Feed, it is stolen content without credit.

You can contact me here or find me on Twitter via @brokeinthecity.

Come and visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist where I am living with less, but only the best!

Fabulously Broke in the City » Thoughts

Dating: Why is it so hard?

SISTER’S SITUATION

1. ISSUE: NOT BEING CLEAR AND DIRECT

2. ISSUE: NO FIRM DATE OR TIME

3. ISSUE: USING IMPROPER COMMUNICATION

4. ISSUE: NOTING EVERY LITTLE ACTION AS A SIGN

Here are some direct questions you can ask:

Somebody explain this to dating wishy-washy-ness to me. I just don’t get it.

2 Useless Companies: Starbucks and Bell — I’m sick of them

I HATE STARBUCKS AND I WILL NEVER RETURN WHILE THEIR WIFI PROVIDER IS BELL HOTSPOT

“ERROR

Sorry, we couldn’t process your request at this time.

Please close the browser window and try again.

You can also call 1-866-768-8005 for customer service.”

1. ANY CLIENT OF YOUR CLIENT, BECOMES YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

2. BLAMING A CUSTOMER IS A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION

3. SAYING YOU HAVEN’T RECEIVED X NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS IN A WEEK IS BULLS**T

4. HANGING UP ON A CUSTOMER EVEN IF YOU ARE ANNOYED

5. UNPROFESSIONAL: NOT APOLOGIZING AND BEING DEFENSIVE

6. STARBUCKS IS NOT BLAMELESS

Bell, you just don’t understand business and it shows in your so-called ‘customer service’ reps.

You don’t even know the meaning of customer service.

You’re only growing profits and revenues by screwing over your clients and trying to lower the quality of service, but charging the same amount.

FB Spring Cleaning Closet Sale

NOTES:

SOLD Liamolly Knitted ‘Kingfisher’ Jacket — $50 — Size Small

SOLD Bionic Tweed Suiting Wrap Dress — U.S. 6 or U.S. 4 — $50

H&M BLACK WRAP DRESS — U.S. 6 — $30

DYNAMITE DARK BROWN HALTER DRESS — U.S. 6 — $20

MEXX BLACK AND GOLD PATTERNED SILK SKIRT — U.S. 6 — $30

LULULEMON RUN: SWIFTLY TECH SHIRT — U.S. 8 –$40 EACH SHIRT

$80 for both, I have 2 shirts 1 in Purple and 1 in Teal

PAUL HO COUTURE GREY JACKET WITH SIDE BUCKLE — U.S. 6 — $50

MONSOON PINSTRIPED INKY BLUE TOP WITH FLOWERS — U.S. 8 — $30

H&M TAILORED DENIM BLAZER — U.S. 6 — $40

[SOLD] SMART SET WHITE PINSTRIPED SUIT — U.S. 6 — $60

SOLD DYNAMITE POLKADOT RUCHED TANK TOP — U.S. 6 — $10

SOLD MOSHI CONCERTI IPAD PURPLE CASE — $25

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