My First Money Manifesto: Never be in the dark about your money

October 20th, 2010 by FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com

Especially if we’re the ones who worked hard and saved, and are not going to be open to bailing you out if you haven’t lived conscientiously.

Lower your expectations about someone or something swooping in to save you from your money mess, and save yourself.

The reality is you can really only depend on yourself.

People grow apart, break up, and leave our lives in all sorts of ways and we are the only constants in our own lives.

I am not saying that along the way you won’t meet wonderful people who will help you and do all sorts of neat and great things – I am saying you should prepare for the worst on your own instead of expecting the best to be handed to you on a silver platter.

The latter just creates inevitable disappointment.

So enjoy your money ……responsibly

It’s just a tool. Money doesn’t do anything – you are the one who can make money work for you or against you.

Nor am I saying that you will have to scrimp every penny and never enjoy a dime of it in fear of being a bag lady in a coffee shop eating lithium on on ice cream.

Just prepare for the worst, the best way that you possibly can with the resources you have available.

Some of us have more, some have less.

The key is just to do something about it for yourself instead of wasting your time comparing yourself to others — you live differently and within the constraints of what you have, and that’s it.

So that’s it. That’s what I told myself when I started and I am still following it to this day.

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Posted in Money | 26 comments

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  • http://www.makemoneyideeas.webatu.com/ Alexina Darab

    When I was younger I didn’t care about saving money, I was just spending them on craps.But after a few bad experiences(my dad’s business gone with the wind because of the economic crisis, we lost our house) I began to work at a normal job.Since then I spent my money with pretty much wisdom.I guess sometimes it takes much more to think seriously at spending money wise.

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  • Pobre Chica

    This is so so so true. It's amazing how I spent most of my adult life convinced I was as strong as a woman could be – and at the same time I was digging further and further in debt, thereby making me weaker and weaker. I felt so ashamed and awful when I finally added it up and figured out a strategy to dig out. Each day, I feel more responsible and stronger. Never, ever will I let it happen again.

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      I\’m glad to hear that!

  • http://www.bowen4flag.blogspot.com Jan

    Great article.
    I never understood why some people (men are now venturing into this area as well) would let anyone keep them from knowing ALL of the money issues.
    That being said….
    My sister in law left my brother. She thought "they" had so much money he could afford to support her the way she and the kids had been accustom to- nice clothes, country club, private schools. When she went in for the first settlement and found out my brother had mortgaged everything and had no savings she was shocked. My brother had been busing trying to make everyone happy…
    It was a tough lesson for both of them. They both are working now- and are divorced. They both are living on middle class wages with little chance of better. The kids are in shock (Where are we going to get the money for $17,000 in high school tuition?)
    Reality sucks. Know your money!
    My recent post Another rose break

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Oh man. That is really a sad story. I feel bad for your brother and the whole family. I feel like my family is in the same mindset as well. :(

  • http://www.centstosave.com/ Lisa @CentToSave.com

    I like being in control of my money! Most of the time I know where it is going, there are some moments of "retail therapy" that will tank the budget, but those moments are fewer and farther. I will squirrel away money, and hide it from myself… I know how I am.
    My recent post Transition

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      LOL!

      I do that too. I hide the money in an account and I refuse to let myself use it because it\’s already in that account and unable to be touched :)

  • Jaime

    Great post I completely agree 100%. Personally I like having 100% control of my money, its fine to go to accountants and CFPs if you want, but at the end of the day, I still like to know what's going on and I keep on top of all my finances. I don't want to end up broke in old age. Even celebrities making millions have ended up broke because they trusted the wrong accountants and lawyers and didn't keep an eye on their money.

    Finance isn't exciting but I find it necessary to stay on top of mine and to learn about finances. I guess that's another reason why I chose to be an accounting major. I want to know more about finance, I also login to online banking every single day, check my balance, my credit card account, etc. Just to make sure things are going okay. I love my bf and I trust him completely but at the same time some things you need to do for yourself.

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      I absolutely agree about not being in the dark, no matter who does your money. Even if you hired someone, I\’d sit down with them each month, quarter or year and ask where the money went, where it\’s going and what I\’m paying that I can cut back on.

      You also need to know about his finances and he needs to know about yours (in the sense that if anything happened, is everything taken care of? do you know which bank he goes to) and so on.

      I made an Emergency Financial Checklist I\’ll blog about later, so that just in case I can\’t speak or help, they know who and where to go to

  • http://figuringmoneyout.com Fig

    This is so true! I watched my mom hand over ALL control of money to my father and in the end she got completely screwed because of it. I learned to never make that mistake myself.
    My recent post Emergency Fund Goal Accomplished!

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      My mom is the same. She finally learned, at the age of 62…

  • http://www.cookinginstilettos.org Lys

    This is a post that was def. needed today. Sadly, I have fallen off the PF bandwagon and it's time to dust myself off and figure everything out all over again.
    My recent post Whats Cookin In Western Mass- Apple Creme Tart

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Oh honey let me help!! :)

  • http://www.hangontomato.com Carolyn

    This is SO IMPORTANT for me to remember. As someone who's not the best with money, I've always said I'm going to marry someone who is really good w/ money so he can deal with it. But I never want to be one of those women… never. I want to know everything, even if I'm not the best at handling it.
    My recent post Hungry Girl

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      You can not be the best with money, but you should be aware of what you owe, own and where it goes. Even if you don\’t change.. it\’s better than being in the dark. :)

  • http://www.savvymoneypincher.com/ Money Pincher

    I agree with you! We need to take control of our own money! I use to be kept in the dark, my mother use to take care of all my money, I use to give her all the money I earned and she gives me an “allowance” for the month. When I moved out, I didn’t ask my mom about the money I gave her, I just assumed it was for my schooling, so I was able to come out of school without any debt. Now I take control of all my money and I learned how to budget and save! I feel very happy that I can make enough money to save and survive on my own! :)

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Wow that was kind of your mother to save the cash and let you come out of school without debt :) That is awesome!!!

      And then you didn\’t go crazy with extra income when you finally took charge of your finances

  • http://www.debtfree-girl.blogspot.com Debt Free Girl

    This is so true. When I had my big wake up call almost a year ago I was so angry with myself. I realized that I completely handed over control of the money to my Hubby. As long as my debit card worked I was happy. Looking back I can't believe I let that happen.

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      I hope things have changed for you since. It\’s better to learn now than to never learn and be at the end, wondering what went wrong.

  • thousandairecom

    This is very interesting. I have always felt like I wanted to be in charge of money, even when/if I ever have a significant other. I'm helping my current girlfriend make a budget and understand her finances a little better, but I think if we ever got married I'd just take over completely. Is that bad?

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Very bad. You should definitely keep her in the loop. Hate to be a downer but what happens if you get sick? Or can\’t handle the money for some reason? She needs to know the list of bank accounts, what to do just in case, how much there is… it\’s all stuff that women don\’t seem to know about.

      You can still handle the money, just keep her in the loop.

  • Lisa

    Awesome!
    My top money rule is that I make sure that I'm making enough money at my job to be able to survive on my own. Even though I've been with P for almost 10 years, you never know what could happen. We could split up. He could pass away in a plane crash (he's a pilot, so I'm paranoid about that). Anything can happen, and one needs to be smart about their money & make sure they have enough to make it on their own.

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Great point!

      I do the same. It\’s why we do a 50/50 split but I save my own cash too, so I can handle things on my own, even if I don\’t need to. (or want to)

  • http://towardsretirementwithdebt.blogspot.com/ Maureen

    When I was spending sleepless nights worrying about my finances, I wished for someone anyone to come and create me a budget, pay my bills, negotiate my debts and then hand me some pocket money.

    • http://www.FabulouslyBroke.com FabulouslyBroke.com

      Everyone feels like that, but sometimes the only person who can save you, is yourself.