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I won’t be moderating comments until end of August 2009. Thanks for your patience!
LAL mentioned a while back that her mother is just such a packrat, that she cannot get rid of anything.
My mom is the exact same way and in her (and LAL’s mom’s situation), they grew up with nothing. My mom grew up in sheer poverty, stealing food that people put out as leftovers to let their animals eat (no really, she ate fish heads set out for cats), and trying just to stay alive, by shoving as many calories as possible into their system, such as eating pork fat melted over rice.
From that, stems a sense of insecurity.
My mom cannot let go of anything because she grew up with nothing, and having lots of stuff around her, makes her feel secure that she is now, finally comfortable. She doesn’t have to scrounge for food, and she can eat and buy what she wants (to a certain extent).
If I cleaned the house, and truly got rid of all of her stuff, she would feel an overwhelming sense of need to buy new things just to fill the space up to make it feel more comfortable. So sometimes, it’s better just to leave her with her old things, to save her money.
When I visit my parents, my mom always says that she wants to just.. CLEAN the damn place up and get it looking like Martha Stewart, Oprah or any of those design show’s homes.
I always kind of smile when she says that, because she just can’t let go of things. She tries, but she can’t. She can’t bear to throw anything out because she thinks they may be able to use it in the future.
Case in point: I went back to declutter. But I mean, really declutter. I had 7-8 bags of STUFF to toss (in hindsight, I should have been more eco-friendly in disposing of it, but a lot of it was broken or really torn beyond repair).
Anyway, my mom started sifting through everything, exclaiming that SHE could wear some of that stuff in there if she sewed it up (trust me, she would have looked like a bag lady if she did). She was just so surprised I was tossing all of that, and I had to firmly grab the garbage bag away from her and tell her that I was tossing it, and she better not be wearing anything in that bag when I come back because I WILL KNOW.
She put down the bag, but was still mumbling about wasting stuff, but she knows that I’m not tied to my clutter any longer, and am turning into a bit of a hippie minimalist (she thinks it’s great, but she cannot make the same change).
I then told her: if you don’t throw away, or give away anything, how do you expect to have less clutter in the house?
If you, are like my mom and want to become more of a minimalist like me, then you need to GET RID OF IT.
See, the solution is not to have more cupboard space, floor space, organizing baskets, whatever. It’s not about organizing items (well, it partly is), or rearranging what you’ve got.
The solution is to GET RID OF IT.
Give it away. Repurpose it. Donate it. Toss it. Whatever.
GET RID OF IT.
It seems so simple, but is the hardest thing to do, when you are sentimental and emotionally tied to your stuff.
HOW TO JUST “GET RID OF IT”
We all deal with three types of clutter: Memory, Lazy and Might-Need-It-One-Day Clutter.
The EASIEST to start with, is Lazy Clutter. Then Memory, then MNIOD Clutter.
For Lazy Clutter:
This includes documents you half opened and kept in their torn envelopes that you haven’t filed, junk mail, magazines, gifts or free t-shirts or frisbees you got for walking past a guy handing them out.First, you have to say NO to all that free junk you get.
Second, try going through ONE box a weekend. Take out the items. Have you seen any of them in a year? If no, then you can live without it, and get rid of it.
Or third, get rid of one thing a day. Simple. Go around, and find one item, one piece of clothing, one pair of shoes, and get rid of it.
For Memory Clutter:
If you want to keep the memories of the item, take a picture.You don’t need to keep a plastic dolphin sitting on a wave to remember the time you spent with Grandma at Seaworld. You can just take a picture of that dolphin and put it in your “Grandma’s Memories” folder on your computer, and go through them with a click when you feel nostalgic.
For Might-Need-It-One-Day Clutter:
You probably won’t ever need it.This is the hardest to get rid of, but you have to ask yourself: “Should I really keep all of Mike’s old baby clothes? Am I going to have another baby? Is there someone else I can give the clothes to, who will be grateful to have it?“
If you really must keep it, put it in a bin, and LABEL IT, so that you don’t go out and buy yet ANOTHER hammer because you couldn’t find your last one.
This is where it will be handy to have your organization skills kick in, and will take a bit more effort.
Try the FAST rule
F: Fix a time
Do it once a weekend (on Saturday), and make sure everyone is involved. You can’t do it alone (the way my mom thinks she can).
A: Anything unused for a year
Like I said, if you haven’t touched, seen or used it in a year, there is a VERY, VERY high chance that you are never going to use it.Things that are not in this category are things like scuba diving gear, that is very expensive to acquire but you cannot exactly go scuba diving every year.
To sort it out, ask yourself:
- Have I even used this?
- When did I last use it?
- Am I going to use it .. ever?
- Do I want to take up a whole closet or space in my house to keep it?
OH!
And don’t you DARE move things from one room to another.
This is akin to shuffling debt from one credit card to another credit card, to your line of credit. You will waste time, energy and money.
S: Someone’s junk
Er.. if it’s someone else’s, giving it back with a basket of storebought or baked muffins. If it’s your ex’s stuff, just toss it. If it’s your kids’ stuff, make them make the decision. You can’t keep all of Jimmy’s drawings from kindergarten if he is in college and doesn’t want them any longer. Keep one piece, if you must.T: Trash/Donate
Toss it if you don’t want it but only as the last resort — reuse or recycle it first. Be excited that you are giving away so many things and getting it out of your home, to give it to others who are in need of it, more than you. Keep only what YOU love in your space.
Set a goal for yourself
Be it getting rid of one box per weekend or whatever, you have to set goals and deadlines. Finish one room or one box before opening the next, or else you’re going to have an even MESSIER house.
Cut out a picture of what you want each room to look like — from Oprah, Martha Stewart, Home and Garden. Look at that, as your goal, your dream room.
Recycle first, dump it last
Following the three Rs, start with Reusing it if you can (cut up old clothes to use as rags), then Recycle it by giving it away donating it or whatever, and then Reduce the clutter by tossing it as a LAST resort.
Be diligent
You can’t be super (or unrealistically) organized for the first month, much like with your finances, when you budget or track your expenses. Make it easy to stay clean and decluttered, and keep up on it, 10 minutes a day, or an hour a week.
As for organizing it?
Why don’t you try going through lazy and memory clutter first, then we’ll have a little chat, hmm?
If you’re impatient: FB Read: Shopaholic Life/Organization Posts.
P.S. This is my dream apartment
See more pictures here.
- You don’t need a bigger home. You just need less stuff.
- Trying to get rid of things, is futile.
- How to cut down on clutter
- Questions About De-Cluttering
- Beauty Products & Your Sanity
