Speaking of chick flicks, crying and women in general, I was trying to explain this to BF the other day that sometimes you just need a GOOD CRY.
See, we were watching this episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, and Debra (the wife in the series) wanted to be alone for the afternoon just to have a good cry.
Raymond ends up spying on her because he turned paranoid from his parents’ and brother’s prodding about why Debra would want an afternoon totally alone to herself.
He spies on her through the window and sees her crying. He freaks out because he can’t figure out why she’d be crying, and ends up admitting that he spied on her even though she had asked for a private afternoon alone.
BF looked at me and asked if that was normal.
I nodded in response to the episode and said that crying like that was totally normal and even helpful.
He looked alarmed and asked me why I would be crying, wasn’t I happy?
I told him that I was happy, but sometimes women just have a good cry. A good therapeutic cry that’s cathartic (emotionally purging). Apparently it releases endorphins when you have an emotional cry.
He looked even more confused.
I tried to explain that we didn’t need a reason to cry. Sometimes it just feels good to put on a sad song, snuggle up in bed with tissues, watch a sad movie and just let it all out.
And it’s not limited to just a sad movie and feeling sad for little Billy dying. It leads from the sad movie crying to allowing yourself to cry about your life in general – frustrating things that happen at work, at home, etc.
Once you let it all out, you finish having a good cry about everything, you feel a sort of release that no amount of screaming, sleeping or chocolate could ever replace.
His answer:
Ohhhhhkay. Can you tell me before you are going to be doing one of these cries?
I told him I hadn’t done one in at least 8 months, and I don’t call it up on command just because I had it marked down on my calendar to have a Good Cry on Wednesday!
His reply was:
Well, when you do, I want to watch the process to understand more about it so I can prevent it from happening in the future.
I laughed so hard. Like a psychologist analyzing me, he wanted to know more about the process so he could fix it.
How very typically male. (And sweet).
This must definitely be a woman thing. No guy I know does this, and if he did, I’m sure he wouldn’t admit to it. We’re only human, we cry when we feel like it, but maybe men have been socialized not to, although they’d like to. But maybe when they start crying, men open this kind of floodgate that can’t be closed…. hmm. That’s something I don’t want to breach right now.
I can’t describe it other than it’s a calming relief that releases all the emotions that may have built up over the past months, and lets it out in the form of tears through your eyes, with the help of tissues and sad movies to really let it go.
It relieves stress for me when I do cry (and have a good cry at that), and you really DO feel better after the end of it. Without anyone stepping in to fix anything.
Men, have you encountered something similar & freaked out?
I’d love to hear experiences!
THREE FB GIVEAWAYS THIS MONTH!
- Are we our own worst enemies?
- What are men looking for in a woman?
- Being too successful can be a bad thing…..?
- Very proud of my family
- Languages, prices and the ups and downs
Salvia
on Oct 15th, 2009
@ 12:44 AM:
I’m a man, and this is the first time I know about this. I consider myself in touch with my feminine side, whatever you can understand of that phrase. And I agree that crying is therapeutic. I think that laughing out loud is another way of release all that stress we gather on daily basis. I think that my girlfriend is very strong cause I’ve never seen her sad when things go wrong, but if this is her secret, I’d see her in a different way, positively talking.
FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com
on Oct 15th, 2009
@ 9:15 AM:
@Salvia Oh. Maybe she tears up in secret?
I do that sometimes. She sounds very strong!!!
Stacking Pennies
on Nov 12th, 2009
@ 11:14 PM:
[...] tears. I usually would be concerned about that, but one of them was just needing a good cry (see FB’s post for explanation if you are [...]
Steph
on Nov 15th, 2009
@ 12:24 AM:
I agree, sometimes it just feels really good to cry. Usually it's a sad TV episode or movie, but it just a very helpful release of emotion. I don't like feeling stressed out, especially over things that are out of my control. So watching a tear jerker episode of Grey's Anatomy really just helps me to get back on track (and maybe also reminds me that my life isn't that bad at all!)
FABULOUSLYBROKE
on Nov 15th, 2009
@ 1:22 AM:
That is EXACTLY IT!!!!
SS4BC
on Nov 15th, 2009
@ 8:59 PM:
Haha… my therapeutic cries also tend to come during Grey's Anatomy episodes – also while driving and a certain song will come on. And even though I wasn't sad and nothing is wrong, I just cry. Just to release the tension from the day.