The Idiot wants to move to Switzerland now.
He thinks he can rock it with the big boy bankers in Switzerland, and live like a king in a beautiful country.
But I am pretty sure they have a policy against inviting in Idiots from other Villages around the world…
Oh man.. when I heard that, I just about had to bite my lip to stop from laughing.
He’s really unrealistic, you know?
From what I understand (and confirmed by someone who lived in Switzerland), it’s a small country that has something like Affirmative Action thing going on here, where they try to only hire their own people (the Swiss) and specifically people who can speak Swiss-German. (It’s German, but Swiss-German. You don’t call them German-speaking Swiss, because they speak a different kind of dialect of German, which is called.. Swiss-German. I learned that via Google).
I’ve heard of something similar in many other countries, Japan for one. Remember? They had some sort of law where foreigners just couldn’t immigrate into the country — it was only open to very select foreigners, and they had a very closed-door society as a result.
(The States tries to do that too — to hire their own Americans, which is what every country should try to do. Alas, it poses a small problem for us Canadians to head over the border 
).
Anyway, nothing wrong with hiring your own people!
Hell, if I ran a country, I’d rather hire my own citizens too.
Okay, so back to The Idiot.
He thinks he can waltz into Switzerland, hook up with some mad private Swiss-bank job and not being able to speak or write a language truly fluently other than Spanish.
He can speak French and English, don’t get me wrong.. but he can’t write a word of it, which is okay for working in a company in the IT department, but I don’t think it’ll be up to snuff with the Swiss if he tries to draft a letter to his clients or to his company in mangled, Google-translated cut and pastes, embarrassing the whole bank.
I’ve also asked, and confirmed with people who say that learning German is a MUST-HAVE as everything is conducted in German. So The Idiot would have to learn a 4th language. Maybe a 5th because they prefer Swiss-German speakers (as a way to filter out the Swiss & the non-Swiss for hire).
You may think I’m being really bitchy about this language thing, and it just CANNOT be as bad as I say…. but it’s really that bad.
The guy doesn’t even know how to spell basic words in English like “chicken”, or is even bothered to learn the proper accents in French words. He had to send EVERY email and EVERY document to BF to read and correct for grammar, spelling and accents. For real. I had never seen anything like that before.
Even I write better in French than he does, and that is pathetic by my standards.
The other biggest problem with him moving there?
He hasn’t worked directly in the banking industry before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He thinks his “financial expertise” in the finance department of his previous employers will be enough to be a big shot Swiss banker.
He was gushing about it at lunch today, and I was getting queasy hearing him delude himself. He should just focus on trying to get A job, ANY job just to get food on the table.
He doesn’t have any savings (the way we do, to allow us to stay off the market and just chill instead of scrambling for a job), is juggling his living off credit cards, line of credit and mortgage re-financing.
AND, the guy has a ridiculous lifestyle, going on little mini trips to $500/day hotels with spas because he’s so stressed out from….
….doing nothing because he doesn’t have a job
….stressed out from not having a job
….delusions that he could become a freelancer (in WHAT!?) and charge $150/hour (*chokes*) with the very little experience he has in IT — not even BF gets $150/hour all the time, and he’s very experienced
his Idiot Wife spending him into an oblivion (they went to an expensive pool the other day even though there’s a free one for people to use where he lives)
…trying to estimate the housing market to get rid of his monster of a house that is sucking the life out of his finances (via $320/month utilities and the $1500 (?) mortgage payment)
…not being able to even afford tomatoes for his family as they are quite expensive and he hasn’t bothered to ask us for the addresses of where we buy our cheap produce
I should also mention that he’s starting to get desperate, because he’s admitted to buying 5 lottery tickets a week, and when someone out of the blue, starts buying lottery tickets every week.. it’s usually a sign that they’re hoping for some big miracle from the divine to save them from their life.
My parents were like that. I saw the effects of gambling, growing up, when all it would take would be my dad to just work at least a full-time job instead of bumming around.
Whatever.
Anyway, his Idiot Wife would die to live in beautiful Switzerland. She would just die with happiness of being a lady of leisure there.
Oh man….
He just needs to be more realistic, dump his home and move back to Mexico where he claims he has tons of contacts to help him get a job in ANY company, ANYwhere…… *snaps fingers*
- The Idiot’s Kids are in for a hell of a time!
- The Idiot (Wants To) Join a Gentleman’s Club
- The Idiot is now becoming a “Doctor”
- The Idiot is now going to Mexico for an extended vacation
- The Idiot Strikes Thrice
That Kind of GIrl
on Dec 11th, 2009
@ 5:51 PM:
This post is brutal and yet totally awesome advice. I'm pretty sure you should star in a reality show in which you move into people's lives and coach them to not be financial idiots. Although I'm orders of magnitude better than this dude, I would still be at the front of the volunteer line for the FB treatment.