What to do when you meet with someone professionally for the first time – like someone you want to begin networking with, or someone you talk to all the time on the phone but have never seen in person.
WHERE TO GO
Be aware that a dinner as the first meeting may not be a great idea because let’s face it, they could be duds in the conversation department. Lunch is a better idea because you can always gracefully duck out by saying you need to get back to work.
If you go over coffee, take them somewhere with nice seating and where it is quiet.
WHAT TO SAY
As for topics of conversation, you want to start with things like the person who introduced you, the companies you work for, the atmosphere of the place – all neutral things.
You can also just pop out the ol’ “Tell me about yourself” and you KNOW people love talking about themselves!
Do not talk about religion, politics, or any other loaded questions that might make them uncomfortable or start a fight and have you two end up breaking what might have been a good professional relationship based on personal views.
Talk less, listen more and know a bit about the world (pick up a newspaper that morning or quickly scan the news online before going) so that you can talk about world events.
ORDERING & PAYMENT ETIQUETTE
If you invited the person, you pick the place and pay. You can even do something like pre-arrange payment with the waiters so that you don’t do that cheque tug-of-war when it comes.
Or if you end up doing a tug-of-war, if you were the one that really invited them, then pay. They can always get the next treat which is another opportunity to meet them again for coffee.
But as the guest don’t just sit back and let them pay without giving them a bit of a fight because it’s only polite. Or at the VERY LEAST, go Dutch (split the bill).
As a guest, I have never ceased amazement at how rude some other guests at dinners are. You always carefully watch what the other person orders, and you can even ask them to suggest something from the menu that will not kill the budget.
So if they say the duck is out of this world, then you should check the price of the duck, order it if you like duck, or order something at exactly that price or below it. Also, if they don’t take an alcoholic beverage like wine or a beer, then you don’t either.
It’s only polite. Unless you were the one that invited them then you don’t get to order or drink what you want.
I have also been in situations where the host ordered for everyone ahead of time, like “everyone is getting steak because it’s their speciality here”. If you are a vegetarian then you do NOT have to pick at the vegetables at the plate to be polite because you should just say “I am sorry, I’m a vegetarian”, and you order something AT or BELOW the price of the steak.
Even if you are considered the guest and they said they were going to pay, bring enough money to cover the whole bill because you just never know what might happen.
