Comments on: Appropriate BF/GF Outing Behaviours

By: feli

feli — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 02:13:00 +0000

I have never been the one who checks up constantly with the BF as long as he tells me that he is going out and where to I am fine with it.

I have no problems with my partner , past and present, going to strip clubs or anything. Just as long as its not too over the top.

I trust my partner 100% but I did warn him that its a two way street, if he can do it well so can I. I think that stopped him in his tracks. :*)

By: Mrs. Micah

Mrs. Micah — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:20:00 +0000

When I go out out (vs running errands), I give Micah a general framework, where I’m going and when I’ll be back and who’s coming along…though normally he already knows the latter. Often I’ll need to be picked up from the metro stop, since I don’t like waiting for the bus late at night. So I tell him to expect the call around a certain time.

As for him, if he’s out maybe an hour and a half past when he said he’d be back, I check in. But that rarely happens.

By: Sara

Sara — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 21:39:00 +0000

I am usually out more than he is, but I don’t worry about it unless he said he is going to call and doesn’t for several hours. He will check up on me some after work, but more to see if he needs to go eat something by himself or I am about to come home so we can eat together. (we eat pretty late at night). I usually text him some if I have a chance, but not if I am at a conference busy all day.

As far as strip clubs go, he has made the rule that he can’t go without me next time because he spends too much money! Not all strip clubs are nasty and some of the women are lovely to talk to. Something different is healthy for a relationship, in my opinion.

Same goes for “porn”. If you think your man isn’t taking care of himself at least once a day if you aren’t, you are quite mistaken. I don’t care what he says. As long as he would prefer having you, it isn’t a problem. That being said, if he has to hide it from you and feels guilty about doing it, that will cause tension and resentment. Just make sure there is some time for him alone so you don’t have to see it and can pretend it isn’t around and you will have a much better relationship.

By: Samantha Easter

Samantha Easter — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 08:33:00 +0000

I have never had a very steady boyfriend which I would report my daily ongoings to. I think I’d find it very tedious unless it actually effected what he does. I suppose if we lived together it would be different. I would probably let him know where I was and an an estimated time to get back, then if I don’t get back at that point then I;d call again. I’d would pretty much expect the same.
Again, I’d imagine.

By: Tanya/Israel

Tanya/Israel — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:42:00 +0000

When we lived in Vancouver, hubby would go to strip-clubs with the lads for a quick beer after work (real happy hour eh?) I knew about it and sometimes I went there with him (the Cecil and the Drake, don’t know if they still exist). It was so much fun!
We got married in our 30s plus we both had “some” experience before we met and we told each other about our adventures. I even met some of his previous girlfriends. So we both knew that we’re not going to stray.
Now in Israel it’s different – we hardly ever go anywhere!!! It’s just work and home and dinner with friends sometimes. We must be getting old

By: Barbara Doduk

Barbara Doduk — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:14:00 +0000

My now ex-bf (waiting for him to actually move out) had this problem big time. He is a bloody hypocrite.

I'm a pretty easy going gal, I think it's healthy to have friends and do things with friends, without BF/GF along all the time.

I agree, mutual respect is important. If I have plans, I let him know in advance, I tell him where I'll be, when I suspect to be home etc. I'm not detailed but I don't want him to worry.

I expect the same respect in return. Let me know where you going, or when you'll be home, or who you are with, to me these things are practical in case of emergency things.

We live together, we should respect that comes with a relationship.

Sadly though he is an idiot. To say he disrespected me is an understatement. I'm sure I'll blog about him when he is finally gone, but until then it is best for now to keep mum on the subject.

By: Auburn Kat

Auburn Kat — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:12:00 +0000

When I was with my ex and he or I were traveling, I would always want him to call me before he went to bed. He always had issues with it and I really didn’t think it was that much to ask.

I am so happy I’m not in a relationship anymore though.

By: Little Miss Moneybags

Little Miss Moneybags — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:24:00 +0000

My checking-up-ness has always depended on the quality of the relationship–if it’s a good one, there’s no checking up required, because both parties are honest and considerate about calling if they’ll be late or whatever. If a lot of checking up is required (or feels required) or if I have to worry a lot because the other party is not forthright about where he’ll be/when he’ll be home, I should just take that as a sign to end the relationship.

Truthfully, I’m usually the one home later than I estimate, and I am not always able to call–if I’m out that late without my honey, it’s because I’m performing and I can’t get to my phone. A good boyfriend understands this and doesn’t let it bother him (I try to be really good about estimating my time, but I’m depending on other people and public transportation for rides, so sometimes it’s just out of my control).

If my boyfriend goes out without me, I’ll go to sleep and not worry. I trust him.

As for porn or strip clubs…well, my boyfriend and I have gone to burlesque shows together and I love it! We both like naked (or mostly naked) people, and the girls who do burlesque seem to have a wonderful time (I’ve thought about doing an amateur night or something, myself, and my boyfriend is supportive). A regular strip club might be a bit much, but my boyfriend’s not into that anyway. I wouldn’t get jealous of porn–it can be part of a healthy sex life (alone or with a partner) and if it’s not adversely affecting our time together, I can’t complain. Trolling singles’ sites “just to see what’s out there”…that doesn’t fly with me AT ALL (can you tell I’ve had an ex who did that!?)

By: Eric

Eric — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:09:00 +0000

My girlfriend and I have an expectation that we would call each other if we are out late just to check in. That way the person not out does not have to worry or wonder what is going on. Just a quick, “I’m still out”.

And my girlfriend knew the one time I went to a strip club since we have been together. It was for a bachelor party and I asked for her approval (not permission) before I went.

By: stackingpennies

stackingpennies — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:59:00 +0000

I fully trust my bf, but I still like to know when he’ll be home (roughly) even if the answer is “2 am”. And if something comes up, just let me know. It is just curteous.