Feeling of inadequacy Sunday, July 6, 2008

There is a tendency among shoppers to justify buying really high priced items like a $300 pair of shoes when a pair of Manolo Blahniks cost $700 or more. It’s as though you’re getting shoes for half the price, when in reality, you’re still spending $300.

But do you ever get a weird feeling when you hear about your friends dropping hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a purse or a pair of shoes, as if you’re being too frugal or dare I say, cheap, for thinking a hundred bucks as being quite expensive for a purse or a pair of shoes?

When I heard my friend say that she bought a Chloe Paddington, I did get twinge of “Wow, she earns as much as me, but she treats herself to a $2k bag, why can’t I do the same?”… Then I start thinking about how I’ve been working so hard to get rid of my debt, and I get into the mindset that I deserve more and better because I worked harder than she does at getting rid of student debt.

It’s a vicious cycle to fall into, because then you splurge on clothing and items, then you feel guilty and go all ascetic and monk-like, then you binge again. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions, it’s never a steady even keel. I know because I’ve been there and done that.

Or when you hear about your friends urging you to come out and spend the night with them drinking and eating at a posh new restaurant, you feel a twinge of feeling like you’re left out of the loop now, because you can’t justify in your budget, spending $200 on a single night. That’s a third of your rent! But when you see the pictures on Facebook and hear about how much fun your girls had that night…without you….you feel guilty for abandoning your friends, and you feel like you’re being punished for wanting to clear your debt first.



I guess the solution would be to get new friends (I do have 2 frugal friends but one is a student in Dentistry, so she is totally in my mindset for now), but I love my friends. Even if I don’t see them often (living in two cities is difficult and working in a third is difficult).

But just looking at the life they have, it makes me wonder what their financial situation is like. Do they have money to make it through to the end of the month, spending the way they do? Do they realize that adding $2k or even $200 on to a debt that is $30k or more isn’t really helping the situation considering that it’s actually spending half of your monthly required payment of $400?

It’s bittersweet, really. But I’d rather be tasting the bitterness now while I can stomach it, being as young as I am, than to taste it later in my 50s, when I’m struggling to make ends meet.