From Post Secret
As a society, we seem to be extremely obsessed with the flatness of stomachs. Everywhere we go, every page we turn, is covered with models who look like they haven’t eaten in days with concave or incredibly flat tummies that just aren’t natural.
Those flat tummies didn’t appear overnight. The minute we hit puberty, our breasts grew, our hips grew, our butts filled out and our tummies got a bit of a natural curve to them.
To get rid of all that and to obtain a flat stomach, women started dieting, eating celery until they couldn’t eat any more, drinking water, eating rice cakes and running on the treadmill like a bunch of gerbils trapped in a vicious cycle.
The problem with all of that is that we, both men and women all accepted that it COULD be a natural shape of a woman to have an extremely taut, flat stomach. And I’m here to argue against it.
In the past, women were Rubenesque, curvy, rounded, soft, and in today’s standards, fat.
If you take a look at the statues in museums, the paintings and all the pieces of art depicting women from a range of cultures: Indian, Mayan, French, you can see that in all those images, they are true depictions of women in that day, and they all have rounded tummies. They aren’t flat, they aren’t toned and they don’t look like prepubescent girls.
Granted, there are women out there who happen to have that kind of body shape – kind of rectangular, straight up and down, almost no bust and butt (*FB raises her hand*), but even on my kind of body shape that others could consider the type that could be anorexic-like if I wasn’t careful, I still have a rounded belly. No scratch that, an extremely rounded belly, it looks like I’m 2-3 months pregnant, but I’m not.
It’s just my shape. I can’t help it. And I don’t want to any longer.
I’m skinny all over, but my stomach has never gone away, even at my lowest weight point (I’m 5’4”, and I once weighed 110lbs, but I never starved myself – my metabolism was insane when I was younger, and is dearly missed, TRUST ME). I understand now, that I was too skinny, but there was no way I could’ve eaten MORE. I ate more than my siblings who were twice my size and twice my age, and I never worked out. It was insane what kind of abuse my body took in terms of eating until I couldn’t move.
They say that men don’t like women with rounded bellies (I’m not talking fat, or chubby, I’m talking about being a slim woman with a rounded stomach), and they say it could be an evolutionary thing, where if a man sees a woman who is not his girlfriend or wife, who has a rounded stomach, it immediately reminds him of pregnancy, and he’s instantly turned off.
Why? Because if the woman IS pregnant (not that she is), it means she’s pregnant with someone else’s child – not his. Even if he’s taken by another woman, he cannot get aroused by looking at another woman with a rounded stomach – it’s just an evolutionary throwback to remind guys that a woman with a rounded stomach COULD be pregnant, and IF she is, she’s not carrying your genes and that’s a turn off.
The second theory is that it’s because women never entered the workforce and never NEEDED a flat belly. Sounds kind of wonky? I thought so too, but now they’re saying that in the past, women never worked outside the home. Check.
But now that they have entered the workforce, things have changed. Check.
And to compete against men to show others that they are just as competent and intelligent, if not, more so than a male in the same position (not that a woman always is, just saying she could be), women have started to work out, tone their bodies and flatten their stomachs like CRAZY just so they can compete like a man.
Sounded kind of farfetched to me, but the more I mulled over it, I could see how it made sense. Half Check.
But maybe the whole flat belly thing came about in the 60s when Twiggy came onto the scene, as a model. A skinny, prepubescent kind of body type that was something they hadn’t seen before (have you seen how curvy and naturally gorgeous Marilyn Monroe was?) and it was avant garde. It was something interesting, and an interesting cut and style for clothing could now be developed.
This prepubescent thing has stuck for quite a while now. For what, almost half a decade? And it’s getting old.
From what I understand (and I don’t claim to really understand the entire human body), we all need fat to live.
Women, need more fat than men. It’s because they’re preparing their bodies (and their belly in particular since it protects the uterus) to be ready for a baby to grow and for life to be brought into the world.
With an extremely taut and tight belly, I guess they’re saying that it’s not as comfortable and not the right shape for a baby to grow. Have you seen a child in a fetus position? It doesn’t have a flat side. It’s more like an oval shape, and that’s why a woman’s belly is rounded and not uber flat naturally.
And you just can’t lose the fat from JUST one spot. When you lose fat, you lose it all over your body – from your bust, your hips, your butt, your ankles, etc. You can’t lose spots and pockets of fat, unless you get liposuction to get rid of the layer of natural fat on your stomach and get a breast job to pump up the fat that you lost from your breasts. I’m not talking about having a stomach that threatens your health by being TOO big of a waistline, but a little belly that sticks out in a rounded shape isn’t a bad thing.
So unless you work out like crazy, watch every bite of what you eat, and fight Mother Nature at every turn, you will ultimately (like me), end up with a belly. Sure, it doesn’t seem sexy to what… 90% of all men in the world, but you may just end up with someone who appreciates the beauty of your body and tells you every day.
Guys – weigh in! De-lurk and speak up in the comments section, please…
And Women – what do you think? Even after reading this, do you still feel you want to achieve a flat belly?
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- Musings of a now-loved belly
- Men & Strippers
- Being too successful can be a bad thing…..?
- Are we our own worst enemies?
- Why does it seem like men cheat more than women?
Alexandra Hancock
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 9:28 AM:
At the risk of sounding extremely nerdy I loved this! I am a Classical Archaeology and Art History major so this just made my day. I usually don’t get to read these kinds of articles on my usual blogs (which you are one of). My Master’s thesis is on the role of women in antiquity and so a good few pages are dedicated to appearance and their societal effects. Very Very Very Cool!!!!
Polly
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 9:47 AM:
An interesting theory!
I’m not obese but I’ve had 4 babies and have a round tummy too. It’s a comfort to see tummies in classical art. And those people did not have fast food, soda and other things that we are told make us fat ( stuff I don’t eat, but I still have this belly….).
Little Miss Moneybags
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 10:08 AM:
Yes, this!
I’m also naturally very thin, can eat whatever I want and have fought off comments from strangers about my size. When I started college, I weighed 99 pounds (at 5’5″). I’ve put on almost 30 pounds since then, so I have a few curves, but I still get told to eat a sandwich.
My stomach is not flat. There’s a slight rise or rounding, which I like a lot. My abs are strong and somewhat defined (I’ve been belly dancing for three years, so there’s definitely muscle under there). I could probably get washboard abs if I tried…but why? It’s not a natural look. I like having something jiggle there when I dance. I like the way my boyfriend’s hand fits on top of it. I try not to compare myself to my fellow dancers who DO have perfectly flat, taut, muscle-y tummies. This idea of what women SHOULD look like is historically and physically unrealistic, and really not all that appealing to either men or women, if you think about it.
mamaluv
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 11:36 AM:
Yes yes yes! I have long expounded on this thought, but have found few allies. Even many of those who claim to be feminist still secretly do 200 ab crunches before bed.
Pre-pregnancy, I always had a slight rounding in my belly. Post-pregnancy, well… yeah. So I’m never going to look like SJP, but dammit I don’t care!
(Ok, maybe I do a little, but I’m working on it)
SavingDiva
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 12:05 PM:
I may become hated, but I’ve always had extremely flat abs…so matter how much weight I gain (okay, I’ve never been over a 6…but still). However, my thighs are another issue all together!
smartbykrae
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 12:10 PM:
Recently, I had to do a 3 day water fast for medical reasons. I lost 10 pounds, and my tummy became flat as a board–it was amazing. I’ve never had a flat stomach in my life. Of course, once I started eating again, my tummy returned to its natural, rounded shape.
This experience has taught me that, for the average woman, a completely flat belly is impossible, unless you stop eating, submit yourself to colonics, and exercise constantly. If movie stars want to do this, that’s fine. They can keep their stomach rumbles, I’d rather eat.
QuiteLight
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 1:42 PM:
I desperately want to agree. I’m a credit or 2 away from a Renaissance Art History minor, and I LOVE those paintings. Drawing voluptuous women was a delight (I was a Studio Art major), while the thinner women were just less interesting.
But for myself, if I’m honest… I want a flat belly. I’m a child of the ’80′s media. I see them all around me all the time among my fellow yoga teachers (although there are ABSOLUTEY all body types in that field), and I want that too.
But I try every day to love my little girl-belly. My guy does. Maybe someday.
Aww, I made myself sad.
Frugal Urbanite
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 2:18 PM:
I used to want a flat belly and whined about it to Mr. Frugal Urbanite. Being Latino, he gave me a horrified look and asked “WHY?” in a strangled sort of voice.
Now I like my tummy. I’m not exactly rotund (I was blessed with a high metabolism) but I’ve come to realize that I don’t like the overly fit look. It just doesn’t look natural to me. I’d much rather look at a curvy mama.
L@SpillingBuckets
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 2:50 PM:
Totally loved this post.
I am like you, 5’6″ and about 115-120 lbs… I am skinny but still have a little rounded stomach. When you said about 2 months pregnant that’s exactly my size too.
And I don’t mind.
I work out and have decent amount of muscle underneath, but still have the little rounded area.
R is ok with it now although he’d prefer the flat abs, and for a while I tried to get them flatter. It was a TON of work for results I didn’t care about much. Now I am happy with my little pouch. Granted, I don’t want it to grow unless I am pregnant, but as it is I like it: natural.
Thanks for posting this, it’s comforting to see other people feel the same way.
Frugal Trenches
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 3:35 PM:
LOVED THIS POST! YOU ROCK!
I am amazed at the number of my guy friends who will admit they hate very skinny women – especially here in England more and more men are talking about women looking naturally like women – curvy. In fact, tonight there is a show on called “the great British body” which is all about celebrating the fact that most people are naturally a 12-14 and it’s healthy!
BRIL post
Caught Eating Butter
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 3:44 PM:
I always say, “it’s not a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine!”
Anonymous
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 6:04 PM:
this post is wonderful! i’m 17 weeks pregnant and while i’ve never weighed more than 120 lbs in my life (and not for lack of eating, i assure you), when the scale hit 130 lbs last week, i just about had a mini-heart attack. my husband rushed in to see what the problem was and when i told him, he said, “big deal. you’re pregnant. that’s my baby in there. you better be putting it on!” saying that knocked all the perspective back into me. how ashamed i felt (and still do) that i let society’s expectations for a skinny woman dictate how i felt when i realized that at four months pregnant, i’ve gained a whopping 10 pounds. thanks for posting this. it makes me want to cheer.
Fabulously Broke
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 7:14 PM:
Alexandra: Wow
Thanks for the wonderful compliment.
I’m always interested in women’s social issues (I’m not JUST a PF or a fashion blog), and it just came to me on the train after BF mentioned how he loved my belly…
Polly: Interesting, but I’m not sure I buy 100% of it. Maybe 50% of it
It is definitely a comfort to know that fatter women before, were considered beautiful, and being skinny meant you were too poor to buy food to even eat. Now the tables have turned…
Little Miss: I didn’t ever weigh 99pounds at 5’4″, but I weighed 110 at 5’4″ at my lowest weight, which made people tell me to eat more.. which I COULDN’T!.. They just were amazed.. but now it’s catching up to me, lol…
mamaluv: I think that’s the problem… it’s because everyone preaches that they want to be loved for who they are, bla bla bla, then they go home and work out for 3 hours and crunch before bedtime… LOL.. I’d love to look like the stars, but the pressure and the amount of WORK is just too much for me
SavingDiva: Well you’re lucky honey
But I guess everyone has a great spot and a bad spot.. mine (originally) would’ve been my belly.. but now… eff it!
smartbykrae: GAWD no kidding!! I’ve always wondered what that would do…. ick. I’d rather eat.
Quite: Ohhh well, at least you’re honest. It took me a while and a struggle to get around to loving my belly, but it was a constant uphill, 6 months of BF repeating that he loved my belly that did me in LOL
Frugal: ME TOO I saw the curviest chick on the subway and it made me want to hug her..
She had the nicest curves on her butt, her hips, her belly and her bust.. she was just… luscious.
L: LOL!! Wow
Finally, someone with my same body type. I felt so alone LOL…. being a skinny little thing but having a belly. Although.. it’s exactly what BF wants
Frugal: Thanks
I definitely wanted to have people be less self conscious about it… And it all depends on the men, but very very skinny girls they say, digs into their body if she’s on top or something or another…. Men.
Caught: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like that one. Except I don’t drink beer. Chocolate belly maybe?
Anon: I’m so happy you loved my post
I love making people’s days!!!! 10 pounds is nothing, but as long as you don’t go overboard… it’s healthy.
Celebrate it
Mrs. Micah
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 8:58 PM:
Sometimes I feel fat and it makes me want to cry. But this post is awesome. I’m not fat at all. I have lovely curves. My tummy is just not completely flat.
I really wish our culture could adapt its standards of beauty to fit real beauty but it seems that the more technology we get, the less real the bar gets. Supermodels don’t look as good as supermodels.
Thanks.
Fabulously Broke
on Jun 3rd, 2008
@ 9:04 PM:
Mrs. Micah: You’re welcome honey. I think your curves are probably awesome. And I wish society would accept curves more…. I agree.
Real supermodels probably don’t look that hot naked and up close when you see their bones
stackingpennies
on Jun 4th, 2008
@ 12:11 AM:
I also really liked this post. I don’t really gain weight in my stomach (or boobs, unfortunately) but my hips/thighs. Even so, I like the acceptance this post promotes for all body types. yay for FB!
Fabulously Broke
on Jun 4th, 2008
@ 6:50 AM:
stacking: glad to hear it! And you’re right – I only wrote about bellies because I have one.. LOL
SavingDiva
on Jun 4th, 2008
@ 10:31 AM:
I’m the same as stackingpennies! I only wish I could put weight on in my boobs!
Fabulously Broke
on Jun 4th, 2008
@ 12:39 PM:
Saving: I kinda like my small boobs. No bra, no sagging
And I fit into pretty much every top I try…
erji
on Aug 3rd, 2008
@ 9:43 PM:
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