Being too successful can be a bad thing.....? Saturday, April 12, 2008

Single Ma posted an interesting link about women being too successful to find mates.

And it's an interesting dilemma.

Basically the issue is that they're saying that intelligent, ambitious, financially-secure, gorgeous, well-rounded, educated women are finding it hard to find a man.

At first I read this and went: WHAAAAAAAAT?

But then I thought more about it, and realized it was true. It's just always been this way, but men like to be with a woman who's either at their level of social and financial status, or lower than them.

It makes them feel more like a man I guess. The guy who brings home the bacon, and has something to contribute because let's face it, biologically, only women can bear children.

This means the guys can HELP with the process, but we carry the babies for 9 months, we deal with the sickness, the pain of childbirth, etc, and they might feel a wee bit inadequate in the scheme of everything, which is why they bring home the bacon to support the family.

But if the woman bears the children, brings home the bacon and fries it as well, many men are saying that they feel inadequate, asking themselves: if she can do it all, why would she need me?

Uhh.. For companionship? Love? Respect? Fun times? Support?

Women may be able to do everything but they aren't inhuman. They need help too, and support, and there's nothing better than having a partner to support you and give you the love that you need to make it through the day.

So back to the whole idea of these alpha females who can't seem to find a guy.

First, what I really have to wonder if it's an issue with the women. Why does it seem like it's the woman's fault to be ambitious, well-off and successful? All the articles I read kind of hint at that (maybe not so much this one), but it's like it's their fault for being too good to be true.

Second, the guys, psychologically have an issue with them being too successful as well. So it's a two-way street in my mind.

Third, the pool of potential mates in terms of having equal social and financial status is quite small at this level. There aren't enough men (uhh, single available men that is) out there who have reached that level of success in their career who don't already have a woman who's on a "lower" hierarchy (sorry, no other way to put it) in their life.

Fourth, if the woman works crazy hours to keep at that level, and the man she wants does the same...you end up with the issue like on Cashmere Mafia with Zoe and her husband not really being able to even schedule in time for their own ANNIVERSARY.

Something has to give, and it's usually the woman. But does it have to be that way all the time? Can men get over the idea of the wifey bringing home and the bacon and being available to cook it for her?

Readers, what do you think?

Related FB Post: Miranda and Steve, a real-life SATC situation

And if anyone is interested in earning some cash: