Comments on: Are we our own worst enemies?

By: Fabulously Broke in the City

Fabulously Broke in the City — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 00:32:00 +0000

Val: I think they self-judge themselves every time a girl doesn’t show interest in them or rejects them… But then again, so do women. Hmm..

Meg: I really do think women are their own worst enemies. We all have flaws, but… it’s what we emphasize -flaws or the good stuff that makes the difference.

Oxanna: Yes it does… You don’t know whether to say “Thanks..?” or suddenly go: “OH but I have NO BUTT…”

Miss Erica: That’s the spirit!! We need more women like you out there, owning your bodies.

Thanks for commenting on this post everyone I love hearing all this insight!

By: miss erica

miss erica — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 21:12:00 +0000

We all just have to love ourselves the way we are. Other people will see something in us that we just can’t see (especially men). I have hips & a juicy butt … yes, I said it. I LUV them, and men LUV them too. I am not ashamed, I don’t have to hide it, and I like to be complimented. What other women think … does not really matter to me. As long as I feel good, and my significant other is happy … that’s what matters.

By: Oxanna

Oxanna — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 08:16:00 +0000

Would the “I hate you!” (said jokingly) phrase fall into this category too? As in, “Oh, you’ve got such a cute hat/eyes/figure/etc. – I hate you!” Um…excusez-moi? It’s not that the speakers of this phrase are trying to be insulting – far from it! But I do hate hearing that phrase. It’s sort of a reverse-fat girl insult. Instead of “You’re so fat, nobody likes you”, it’s “You’re so skinny, you’re not one of us real people.” It hurts both ways, folks.

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 05:18:00 +0000

Oh, I’m so glad you posted this!

My niece was complaining about being too fat — she’s definitely skinny (though, she used to have some extra pudge). I told her, “What does that make me, a sumo wrestler?” You know how I value honesty. I’m not going to lie and say that someone is skinny when they really, really aren’t (though I won’t point it out to them either). However, that includes being honest about our lack of flaws, too.

By: Valley Girl

Valley Girl — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 01:27:00 +0000

If only men sat around judging themselves the way we women do. That would be a sight to see.

By: Fabulously Broke in the City

Fabulously Broke in the City — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 21:18:00 +0000

QuiteLight: I think it's a shame that self-confidence has to be hidden and battered... I think everyone has flaws that they don't want others to see, but it's those who can say "Damnit, I DO have flaws, but I love myself anyway", are the ones who are self-confident rather than vain.

Vain to me, is if you think you are perfectly flawless and no one can match you.

Mrs. Micah: Well I'm glad you're working towards it... I think since you're aware that you have a killer figure, it's a baby step towards realizing how beautiful you look to everyone else.

Thanks for the insights, ladies!

By: Mrs. Micah

Mrs. Micah — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:37:00 +0000

Mr. Micah sat me down and taught me to say “Thank you” when I was complimented. That was over 5 years ago. He felt annoyed that every time he told me that I was beautiful, I’d say “No I’m not.” or “Not really.” Sounds paternalistic, but it was actually really sweet. He told me that I was a beautiful woman and he wanted me to take what he said seriously.

Not that it’s cured my self-confidence. I’m still my own worst enemy…many women would kill for my figure (and sadly do kill themselves) but I don’t find it special. :-/

By: QuiteLight

QuiteLight — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:22:00 +0000

I totally agree. Any form of self-confidence is considered vain. I was raised to be self-confident & proud to be unique (way to go, Mom & Dad!) but still not to say good things about myself because that was bragging or vain.

It took YEARS of work to defeat my self-depreciating sense of humour, developed to talk to other women in high school & university. Now when I wind up in those situations, I just don't say anything about myself & try to steer the group towards more positive talk.

And I try to encourage people who DO have the flat out guts to talk themselves up in a good way. I may not be quite there yet, but yay for them!