Noticeable underthings

You know what I’m talking about. I think they call that g-string or thong sticking out of your low-rise jeans a “whale tail“….

Other crimes would be wearing super bright bras or panties under a very thin white shirt (normally seen as a desperate ‘check me out’ kind of look) rather than a stylish one….. *cough*

Or even if you aren’t wearing a neon pink bra under that white shirt, wearing a WHITE bra or a pair of WHITE knickers under a white shirt, will only highlight the contrast difference between the white top and your skin colour. This is becaue your skin is not a pure ivory white, so the white undergarments do NOT blend in.

Solution: Nude bras and nude panties in a seamless cut. Oh, and don’t wear low-rise jeans that you can’t bend over in.

Button up shirts or blouses that gape

You should put gaping buttons on a payroll if you’re making them work that hard! Guys might not mind, but it’s quite a distraction to most people especially if they’re trying their best not to look there even though it’s blatantly obvious that you’ve outgrown that shirt, or washed it one too many times.

Short-Term Fix: A safety pin or a piece of double-sided tape to hold down the fabric in between the buttons that are gaping.

Solution: A new top.

Too short, or too long pants

Ever since Angie @ youlookfab wrote a great post on pants and their lengths, I’ve been acutely aware of how long or short my pants are, as well as other women’s, and I’ve been very careful to make sure if my pants are hemmed or tailored to be worn with flats, I don’t try and wear 3″ heels with those pants, unless it looks all right (which it normally isn’t the case).

Solution: Too-short, but you don’t wanna toss them? Well, if they’re STILL too short when you’re wearing flats, then I’m afraid you’ve grown a bit, or shrunk them m’dear, and they’ll have to be turned into capris or bermuda shorts.. Or tossed/donated.

Too long? Easy. Hem ‘em to the proper length, depending on what shoes you wear THE MOST with that particular pair of pants. If it were jeans for me, I’d make them short enough to be comfortable for ballet flats without dragging on the floor. If they were dress pants, I’d want them to be comfortable for heels at about 1.5″ in height…

Showin’ off your belly

It’s just wrong. You can have the fittest, sexiest toned stomach in the world, but it’s going to look strange when you sit down and make you look fat and bulgy, and is best kept confined to gymwear. Please. Please. Please, cover up.

Solution: A new top perhaps? Or even if you didn’t originally plan on showing your belly, but your shirt is too short because you shrunk it in the dryer, then wear a camisole or a longer top underneath that shirt to add some visual interest and keep decent. Just make sure when you bend over or raise your arms, your stomach can still be decently covered… no one wants to see your muffin top.

Muffin tops

Usually seen with exposed bellies… But even without exposed bellies, just go up a size larger. No one is going to check your label to see if it’s a Large or an Extra Large… No one really cares, to be honest. They only notice and care, if your clothing is ill-fitting on your body shape and type, and draws attention to your flaws.

A woman wearing the correct Large size of a top will look better and thinner than a woman trying to squeeze into a Small when she’s a Medium, which will just highlight all of her flaws.

Solution: Buy your correct size. Clothing sizes are just a number.

Wrinkled, dirty, stained clothes

Unless the wrinkles are deliberate (ruching which is a bunch of fabric sewn together to give a sort of scrunchy look, or if the fabric is wrinkly and meant to be wrinkly), then there’s no excuse.

Short-Term Solution: Dirty & Stained = Toss or make them into rags. Wrinkled = Use an iron.

Long-Term Solution: Buy clothes that don’t wrinkle that easily when you grab a hunk of the fabric in your hand and SQUEEZE to see how the fabric holds up under pressure. I do this in stores and the salespeople give me odd looks – but I now I never look unkempt as a result.

Wearing Crocs, Juicy Couture Sweatsuits and other such casual wear every single day

Once in a while, when you’re just making a run to a store – we can all forgive you for not wanting to switch out of your black sweatpants into a pair of jeans.

But if this is a regular occurence for you, please reconsider!!! Crocs are not an everyday casual shoe meant to be worn in public. Yes, they’re comfortable. Yes, they come in funky colours. Yes, they can be rinsed and washed with a hose. But no, it is NOT acceptable to wear them when you’re out shopping, running errands or buying groceries. It isn’t that difficult to slip your feet into flip flops, or a cute pair of ballet flats or sandals. It really isn’t!!!!

As for celebs you see wearing those sweatsuits and other workout gear when going shopping here and there, it doesn’t mean you have to commit those same fashion crimes as well. Unless they’re coming out from a gym and going back home, or SOMETHING, it is not really appropriate to be wearing sweatpants and sweatsuits out in public as an outfit. You might as well start wearing your pajamas out if we’re going to go all crazy.

Solution: Simple. Avoid wearing Crocs and sweatsuits in public.

Oversized clothing

You’ve got a cute shape. Why are you hiding it under baggy clothes? It’ll only make you look like you’re bigger than you really are, and it doesn’t do you any justice.

Solution: Buy clothes that fit.

Any others I’ve missed?

One of my guy friends is lamenting about how he’s going to meet new women..

He’s a decent looking guy, nice personality, a bit quirky, but a genuinely pleasant person. Yet he can’t seem to find a date, or meet women. He’s not big on picking up girls at the bars for random one night stands, and he actually wants to meet a nice, decent person to have a solid relationship with. But none of the girls he’s been with, have lasted too long (a couple of dates, then they bolt).

Well, I finally saw his bachelor pad today.. and I can see what MIGHT be contributing to it.

Interestingly enough, I watched a show last night that expounded the 20 worst things about a bachelor pad. Here’s a couple memorable items that popped up on the list

1. Blowup dolls in the corner

2. Foosball/Air Hockey tables all over the place

3. Random papers and junk on the floor, and the carpet is classified as “burn proof”, and has never been touched by a vacuum in the past 2 years

4. Limited furniture, but a state of the art sound system

5. Collectibles and other such TOYS all over the place

6. Only beer in the fridge

7. Sheets are satin, silk, or ragged and kind of disgusting.

8. Beer bongs in the other corner

9. Dirty, unwashed, untouched plates tucked under the couch, and dirty glasses hidden in the most unlikely places

10. A bathroom that hasn’t seen bleach, a cleaner, or a rag in months.

No kidding, my friend probably hit every single one of those on the list. A couple of them, could be forgiven, but when a bachelor pad hits 2 to 3 of these items, it’s time to re-evaluate, and possibly bring in a feminine touch.

First impressions, especially ones about where you live and how you live on a daily basis make a real lasting one, and it might sound superficial, but to most women (and guys), it’s just basic hygiene and cleanliness.

I’m not saying this only applies to men, because some of my girlfriends have AWFUL apartments with underwear everywhere, dirty disgusting crusted plates under the couch and probably haven’t vacuumed in ages.

But it seems like guys are the ones that get vilified as having ‘bachelor pads’.

Guys, you WANT a woman to come over.

You want her to stay.

You want her to feel comfortable and safe.

And you want her to see herself with you in the long run, especially if she’s a great catch.

So why wouldn’t you want to make your home welcoming to her?

It might seem okay to have any of the above ‘sins’ all over the apartment all at once because you’ve gotten so used to it all of your life, but some women (okay, a lot), value that you can show you are responsible enough to clean your apartment, take pride in what you own, take care of what you own, and basically show your maturity.

It should also reveal a bit of your personality (modern classic seems to be the basic look guys go for), and it should be functional, as well as masculine. I’m assuming you won’t want to have flowers all over the place, or tea cosies in the corner, and potpourri in the bathroom (ick), but you also don’t want it to be so stark it feels like you’re living in an overly minimalist apartment.

This is what you should consider having in your bachelor pad:

Entertainment

Clearly, you have a TV. But maybe the entire apartment’s focus shouldn’t be on the TV. Have some cards available, Monopoly.. something to pass the time without having to sit there and stare each other and try to think of things to talk about.

Enough Seating

The couch should be comfortable, but not a big fluffy void. It also shouldn’t be uncomfortable (as if you’d buy a couch just for looks!), and have a high enough back to lean back against, and hopefully, cuddle Oh, and a couple of big pillows might be nice for late night movies. It also has to be big enough to seat the both of you comfortably. If 3/4 of the loveseat is taken up by your body, and the only other seating option is a hard chair or the floor – she just might take that chair or floor and then you’ll really be screwed as to how to get closer to her. Oh, and no leather please. Try for a fabric. It feels more comfortable, less sticky on hot days, and is generally nicer.

Coffee Table

An actual one please? Not a milk crate with a cloth thrown over it. Or making your guests put their cups on the floor because there isn’t anything to put it on.

Live Plants

Not fake, plastic, fabric or dying. It’s a sign of maturity (to me), because boys don’t own plants or water them, men do. If you’re truly worried, ask for something hard to kill – a cactus, a fleshy kind of plant that retains a lot of water but isn’t poky like a cactus.. something.

Art/Pictures/Photos

Not of your exes, preferably. Maybe your family if you’re close, or your friends. And please, no half naked women or calendars with half naked women. If you must, go for something abstract like a red dot on a black canvas frame, and make it work. Or landscape pictures. Ikea has some really gorgeous ones…

Proper Lighting

Dimmers might be good for this. You don’t want too much harsh light, but you also want some mood lighting (uplights, where the light reflects off the ceiling instead of shining down), to give a soft glow to everything.

Clean your bathroom

She’s going to use it. You know she’s going to use it. Make the effort and clean it!!!!!!! And keep it clean. She won’t expect to be able to eat off the bathroom floor (eww), but she’ll expect to be able to use it without asking for a disposable toilet seat cover. Oh, and keep the toilet immaculate. Seriously.

Bathroom Toiletries/Products

Soap in a soap dish or a liquid soap dispenser is a MUST. If your bar of soap is dirty, cracked, caked with dirt and hair… toss it, and buy a new bar of soap for $1.

She will probably rifle through your medicine cabinet (admit it, you’d do it to her!), so make sure that’s clean in there too. Make sure you have some personal grooming products in there like deodorant and after shave balm. And I don’t think I need to say this, but some guys have a TON of bathroom products (my ex had more Vichy products than I had ever seen in my life), and that is also a turn off….. because she won’t want someone more feminine than she is.

If you have a lot of old products, pare it down. Throw out that deodorant you used in high school but never quite finished, and keep it clean around the sink.

Fluffy Towels

Small thin, ragged, holey towels are out. Get thee to a Bed Bath and Beyond, and pick up some dark blue, dark green or dark grey (mmm) towels. Big, fluffy ones. White works too, but darker colours are easier to clean and keep looking fresh and clean.

Shower Curtain

…Just pick a nice, thick waffle beige fabric one. It will show that you care about your bathroom, rather than that free shower curtain your buddies wrapped you up in one night when you were drunk as a joke. The story might be funny, but she’ll be mentally wrinkling her nose.

Tissues

All over the place. As a woman, it drives me mad when I have to search for one. If you must, use a tissue box cover (a metal one maybe) that covers it up (if you care). Women love tissues, as much as they love crepes

A Real bed with Real sheets

Not a futon, not a sleeping bag, something that’s Queen sized or King sized, and make sure it looks inviting. Most women love big fluffy pillows. It makes them feel comfortable and wonderfully luxurious, versus the thin, ragged, flat pillows you’ve had for years that haven’t been replaced.

At least cotton. Please, no satin or silk. It’s just too slippery. Try Egyptian cotton 300 thread count sheets, in a modern fabric and colour that’s clean and neatly made. Nothing with Spiderman on it, if you can help it.

Non-alcoholic beverages

Not all women drink. Have some milk, juice or soda available so that way you can’t only offer her Beer or Water.

I’m not sayin get rid of all of your motorcycle framed pictures with half naked women on them, but at least keep them hidden and away from her view… (actually, sooner or later, they’d probably get chucked because you’re going to have the real thing )

Something like this, but you can Ikea-it instead of buying the high-end stuff. The look and feel of it, is what you should aim for.

Shopaholic D posted about secretly loving the look of knee-highs, but not having the courage to wear ‘em yet.

Me, I love the look of knee-highs too, but have never worn in in fear of looking too schoolgirlish.

However, here are a list of my secret guilty fashion pleasures.

Thigh-high boots

How hookerish of me huh? I think they look really hot with a miniskirt a la Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, but I don’t dare wear them.

Opaque Tights with skirts and boots

This is just plain silliness on my part. I’d love to wear herringbone-print tights (saw some really cute ones at the Gap), with my boots and a flirty skirt, but I just think it’d look funny… although it’s probably all in my head.

Skinny jeans + Boots over them

Okay, this is because I don’t own a pair of skinny jeans whatsoever, and the ONE pair of jeans I DO own (Yes. I only own ONE pair of jeans) could pass for very slim, skinny-like jeans, but I don’t have any knee-high boots, and I feel so strange when the knees of my jeans bunch up and create unsightly bulges when I stand up after sitting down or crossing my legs.

Apparently wearing these horse-riding clips to hold your jeans down under your foot (kind of like stirrups), are what’ll do the trick to hold your jeans DOWN in your boots, but I think I just need a pair of tight, skinny jeans to pull this off.

Mid-calf Pencil Skirts….and Pencil Skirts in general

I’m in a very male dominated industry. Wearing a tight pencil skirt to work, would be like waving a red flag in front of a bull… I’d be teased mercilessly and probably feel quite uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. But I love wearing tight pencil skirts out on the town…. just not at work.

Nonetheless, I am lovin’ the retro-glam look of mid-calf dresses and skirts, as popularized by Dita von Teese, but I just feel like it’d make me look dumpy instead of retro chic…

High-waisted skirts with a thin belt

So very sexy on Felicty Huffman. But when I try it on, it looks like my torso has been eaten by half my skirt, and the thin belt – I have yet to really embrace this trend with open arms… but I’m workin’ on it.

(Okay, who am I kidding? I just love to eat, and wearing a belt restricts that )

Scarves tied around the neck

You know how French women always look so chic with their scarves confidently knotted around their neck? I wish I could do that, but I’m afraid I’d end up looking pathetic.. LOL

Wearing a hat. Especially a cloche hat.

I posted about this today I think… Wearing a cloche hat. I think I’d look cute, but I’d have to try and really get Husband’s opinion.

Headbands

I’ve tried. And they just won’t fit on my oddly shaped head. The thin ones look chic and very nice, but they keep slipping off and driving me bonkers. The thicker ones look cute too.. but again, they’re not tight enough.

I also like the scarf-headband look, but .. still! Too fiddly and slippery for me and I’m always afraid of looking freakish.

Whoa.. I have some serious fashion issues LOL. I pledge that in 2008 I will at least try to wear 3 of the trends posted above, and break out of my classic wrap top and pants with pointy kitten heels uniform.

CD wrote in response to my post about these sexy, sexy boots I’m droolin’ over:

Spoilt for choice is the phrase that comes to mind. FB, I really need your help! I spent three hours trying on different types of boots yesterday…and came home with nothing!!!

I need a pair that look good with jeans, smart trousers and my long skirts. I was hoping to just buy one pair that would go with everything, but just don’t know what to buy. I LOVE high heeled ankle boots, flat knee highs, high knee highs, casual flats …well basically I like everything but can only afford one pair, so could you please do a post on the essential boots for the winter wardrobe, I may be able to stretch to two pairs but want to make sure I buy two pairs that go with everything. Thanks soo much…please sweet FB. Oh yeah and I can’t decide…black or brown?!?

Well my response was something along the lines of:

I don’t know if I’m the best one to be asking for a post on the most “essential” winter boots… BECAUSE I LOVE THEM ALL!

But I shall try for your sake, and with some logic thrown into why every woman needs 2 boots at minimum! LOL!!!

So after some extensive research in the shoe shops here in gorgeous Montreal, I did some thinking and came up with a couple of choices.

ASSUMPTIONS

- You live in winter. I’m talkin’ snow, slush, ice, black ice, white salt, blue salt – you name it, you deal with it.

- You walk. And you don’t ferry back and forth between school/work/going out in a chartered town car, and actually need to care for your boots and how well they hold up.

- You’re willing to fork over about $150 per pair of boots.

I don’t really know what your lifestyle is like, in terms of where you work, or what you mean by going out, as well as what is in your wardrobe but with that being said, this is what I recommend.

The Casual All-Weather Boots

You could wear these under a pair of pants and no one would be the wiser. All they’d see is the front of the boot and the wedge.

It would look pretty cute with most skirts, except maybe pencil skirts (something so sleek and sexy-secretary like, would need a sleeker, thinner heel), but fuller skirts than a tight pencil skirt, or anything of that sort, will work with these boots.

You could also wear these zipped up over a pair of skinny jeans, and still look casual chic for going out to a cafe with your friends with a long skinny knit scarf (some fab ones are sold by Ellen Ikemoto) wrapped a couple of times around your neck with a smart jacket, instead of sloppy chic (think UGG boots with leggings and a bright pink parka…)

It’s casual, yet dress enough for school/work. Unless you have to wear a uniform every day, or something more sharp.. then these might not work.

……I know the boots look a bit wrinkly and the stitching on the front edges it more towards casual. I would’ve liked them to have been more sleek at the top rather than wrinkled/slouchy, but this is the best approximation I could find. Therefore, they would work if you are in a business casual or more casual work environment but if worse comes to worst, you could always just take them off when you get to work, and switch into heels (which is what I do).

It has a wedge heel, so that lends a little oomph to the boot without compromising on it being too high of a heel to walk in comfortably for a while. A thinner heel would make you slip’n'slide… and be more cautious when walking. A wedge is easier to walk in, if it isn’t too high.

It also has a rubber bottom – this is to make sure it has a tread to grip the ice without being afraid of falling into a pile of grey slush (yuck).

It’s leather, yes, but it’s not suede, nor a kind of material that isn’t easy to clean with a damp rag to get the salt off like UGG boots. The salt stains can be easily cleaned off with a damp rag once you get to school or work, and a little bit of minor maintenance with weather guard, and cleaning each week will keep them looking newer and nicer than a pair of UGG boots that are very, VERY comfy (yes, it was heavenly slipping my feet into them this morning), but are ultimately true to their moniker, and fugly, as well as a salt magnet (I’ve heard of them turning blue from the blue salt!?). Anyway.

It is knee-high. Tres important. Why? Because snow comes up higher than an ankle boot, and sometimes higher than a mid-calf boot.

Besides, if you only have cash to spare for ONE pair of boots, splurge on the knee-high ones. They’ll protect you up to at least your knees, but anything beyond that, then you’re on your own, and you really need a pair of SNOW boots.

They zip up at the side. Nothing irritates me more than having to try and wiggle your foot into a pair of stretchy knee-high boots. Ugh. My foot is NOT meant to bend that way, and trying to get it into a boot that doesn’t have an easy zip on the side, is frustrating. ’nuff said.

They have a comfortable lining on the inside that will ultimately keep your feet warm. Sure, you can wear Thinsulate socks that’ll help, but you still want to make sure your boots will keep water and snow from getting in and these boots’ll do that.

So, that’s what I think would be the best style of boots to get for the winter if you can only buy one pair. I’m not 100% thrilled with the image above, only because of the stitching, but look for something along those lines.

Even something with a smaller wedge heel is appropriate, but try and steer away from a thin stiletto heel (look for a flatter, chunk-ish heel), because I’m assuming you’ll be walking on ice, and balancing on ice with a stiletto heel, even a small kitten one, is precarious and dangerous at best. Particularly if you carry a heavy bookbag, laptop bag, or purse.

Now, you mentioned you might be able to spring for a second pair?

Enter the…

Dressy Dry Winter Boots

Look for a pair that’s more dressy and sleek, to wear for those DRY winter days.

You know what I’m talking about.

It’s cold as &@#*$ out there, but the streets are dry, albeit salt-ridden and there aren’t (too) many puddles of slush, and the snow is piled up high on either side of the sidewalk.

They’re knee-high as well because as I’ve briefly mentioned above, knee-high boots go with EVERYTHING (skirts, dresses, pants, gauchos), and they are chic and will last longer than a pair of ankle booties or mid-calf boots that just look (somehow) odd to me when paired with a skirt unless you’re a daring trendsetter. Besides, booties aren’t practical for walking in snow or slush. It’s all too easy for snow to slip inside your shoe and give you shivers down your spine, as well as a very cold, wet, numb foot.

These are boots that are meant to be shown off (if they have buckles like the sexy pairs below), or they would be ideal for taking a cab to an outing and you do NOT plan on walking a lot in them, nor do you plan on using them on ice. This is more of a special occasion boot, that’s still comfortable, but a little sexed up.

You could also still wear them under pants, and no one would be the wiser, as you’d just see the pointier toe and the stiletto kitten heel peeking out.

You could certainly TRY and wear them while walking on ice, or a thin layer of snow.. but it’s not recommended. These are more of a dry winter boot for those days when you want to switch it up.

Tips for buying boots

I was always told to bring along the pair of socks that you plan on wearing with the boots. Be they thick and woolly, or Thinsulate and thin. Wear them along, try them on with the boot, and determine whether you should buy your actual size, or half a size or a size larger. It’s all up to personal preference.

Buy good quality. I hate repeating this like a broken record, but buy a pair of good quality, solid boots that are truly water resistant/proof, and you’ll be happy in the dead of winter that you did.

….and if you buy good quality, take care of them. If you take good care of them, and protect them with a spray, as well as wipe them down when they get soaked or wet with salt water, they’ll last you a long, LONG time.

But if you don’t take care of them, salt will eat through your shoes, and give them a chewed up, dogeared sort of look, and you’ll have to blow another $200 on boots next winter (which.. isn’t such a bad thing now that I think about it )

As for colour, that is totally up to you!! I’m more of a dark brown boots sort of woman, because my wardrobe is already so black and stark that I need something that won’t fade in. (FYI: Apparently pairing brown with black is not a fashion faux pas any more if it’s done right). 2 neutrals together – how can you go wrong!?

But if you feel that you’ll get the most use out of black, go for it. If your clothes are on the lighter side, go for a camel colour. But it all depends on your preference really.

Hope that helps, CD!

Can anyone else offer any tips I may have missed?

I remember someone commenting the other day…

You just can’t tell if the woman’s a high-powered executive or a secretary any more.

I thought about what they were really trying to say, and I think that in the past, the ‘sexy secretary’ look (pencil skirts, heels, stockings, tailored but feminined nipped in shirt) was really only for assistants and other younger women who were up-and-coming, but didn’t want to wear very masculine, figure-hiding clothes.

But the more senior, higher-level executive women suddenly switched into super thick shoulder pants, boxy cut suits, chunky clunky heels and very severe, shapeless cuts of clothing. As far as I recall, the accessories were minimal, and functional (a black tank watch for example, rather than a dangly bracelet one).

The reason being that if you showed that you were a woman with natural curves (*gasp*!) you’d be seen as less professional, less business-like, and more of a younger, flightier sort of a mindset and more focused on fluffier things like fashion and style than you were on the task at hand – which of course was NOT true in the slightest, but first impressions do make the most memorable ones.

Now, suits are hip hugging, tailored, professional and covered up of course, but dare I say it… sexy? It isn’t taboo any more, and thank goodness!!! And the more senior women are just wearing a higher-end designer label, but the look is still the same.

There’s something very empowering (for me), to put on a tailored (but not overly tight or ill-fitting) suit, with hose and some mid-height, pointy toed heels. Accessorize it with some little dangly earrings or a chunky necklace and I feel more powerful and confident.

The same goes for wearing the slightly wide-legged, pajama like pant with a hint of a pointy toe peeking out from under it, and a fitted top with a long chain necklace. I’m still professional (nothing too short, nothing too revealing), but it doesn’t hide the fact that I have a shape, and why should it?

We as women, don’t need to hide our shape any more because looking sexy and still professional is quite acceptable nowadays.

Of course, I’m sure we have varying degrees of what the appropriate level of sexiness in the office is (some may draw the line at hip hugging pencil skirts, while others draw the line at super short miniskirts), but the fact remains that women of ALL positions, can now wear the same sexy “uniform” for lack of a better term and not be immediately judged as being an assistant or a secretary.

Now all I need is a pencil skirt to round off my wardrobe….

From ASOS.com