Waiter Rant’s Guest Blog: How to score with a waitress

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Rule #2: Buy whatever your server tells you to. Yes, I am trying to make a buck here, but I’m not going to sell a table some expensive bottle of wine that’s not very good. If you’re willing to drop coin (this man was), *and* you’re listening to everything I say, I’m going to notice both of these things. And you’re going to have a nice dinner because I know what I’m talking about.

Rule #3: Subtlety, subtlety, subtlety. When the gentleman asked me (being emboldened after consuming two bottles of my well-chosen wine with his friend) what nights I worked at The Bistro, I knew what was coming. But I quickly turned the conversation around to the fact that I worked days at The Restaurant, and told him and his friend what a nice Restaurant it was and that they should dine there. The gentleman then turned the conversation back around to me by remarking that it was nice that I have most of my evenings free (I work lunches at The Restaurant), and I realized again what was coming and quickly excused myself from the table.

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On his way out the door, the gentleman handed me a folded piece of paper, saying, “This is for YOU,” He could’ve left it in the check presenter (because a waiter is the only one who ever touches a check presenter from their table, unless a manager picks it up, in which case he will hand it to the waiter without opening it. Unspoken service rule #435), but I appreciated his boldness (brought on by my exceptionally well-selected wine).